I’ve been trying to lose weight ever since I had a baby. A couple of months ago, I started using Weight Watchers (not very successfully, unfortunately) which basically converts everything I eat into points. I’m allotted a certain number of points a day, which I’m not supposed to go over.
Conversely, my husband has been trying to gain weight basically his whole life. I can’t even tell you how annoying this is. I could pretty much make this post one sentence: “my husband has a hard time gaining weight” and it would qualify him for annoying husband status, don’t you think? I know that it’s not his fault or anything but it still annoys the bejeesus out of me. Case in point: he got a colonoscopy last month in which he had to fast for a day beforehand. Do you know what happened? He lost six pounds. SIX freakin’ pounds. Do you know what would happen if I fasted for a day? I would probably gain at least a pound or two and that’s not an exaggeration.
So now my husband has started using an app to track his calories so he can make sure he’s eating enough. According to the app, he should be eating 3,500 calories a day in order to gain any weight. You wouldn’t think this would be difficult (it certainly wouldn’t be for me) but he seems to have a really hard time with it. Because of this, he’s always trying to eat really high calorie foods which makes eating together nearly impossible because I can assure you, my weight-loss plan doesn’t exactly allow me 3,500 calories. Anyway, I guess since I’ve been using Weight Watchers, all of a sudden my husband seems to think that I know the calorie content of every single food known to mankind even though I’ve explained to him that Weight Watchers doesn’t really use calories to calculate points. He sends me emails: “How many calories in a sushi roll? I had a shrimp tempura and a spicy crab roll.” I get texts: “Which has more calories: turkey or ham?” At Christmas dinner: “How many calories is in that pumpkin pie?” There has got to be a way to make it stop.
Disclaimer: I do realize that most of this post is based in jealousy, I’ll admit to that. I’m completely and totally envious of the fact that he never has to worry about gaining weight. Still, if he asks me for the calorie content of one more food, I may just have to get violent.
