Hiccups. And more hiccups. Argh.

A few weeks ago my husband got the hiccups. But, in typical my-annoying-husband fashion, he couldn’t just get hiccups like most normal people. No, he had to go to extremes – as he always does. He had to go and get the hiccups for four days. Four friggin’ days. I’m sure that it was annoying to him as well. And yes, I know that it’s not his fault, he couldn’t control it, he didn’t like it either, blah, blah, blah.

I had sympathy. Really, I did (though I’m sure the “blah, blah, blah” written above may make you think otherwise). Well, I had sympathy from days 2-3. By the 4th day, I was over it. I was over hearing hiccups. I was over hearing him complain about having hiccups. And I was well and truly over the moaning sound he would make after each and every hiccup. I convinced him to go the doctor because 4 days of hiccups just isn’t normal. The doctor prescribed him something that she said would help get rid of his hiccuping and we headed straight to the pharmacy.

The medicine didn’t work right away; he still had hiccups for a day after that. But since my husband doesn’t do anything halfway, the next day he came home from work and then slept for 14 hours. Fourteen friggin’ hours. Because apparently having hiccups is just. so. exhausting. that it makes one sleep for 14 hours. You know when the last time I slept for 14 hours was? Never. And certainly not since having a kid who rarely seems to sleep through the night anymore and then wakes up at the crack of dawn. But hey, it’s tough to be my husband. Or so he likes to tell me on a daily basis.

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29 responses to “Hiccups. And more hiccups. Argh.

  1. Sorry sounds like a typical sociopath wife, not concerned about the medical concerns of her husband or what he may be going through. Oh waaaah! poor me when have I ever gotten 14 hours of sleep??!!

    • “A typical sociopath wife, not concerned about the medical concerns of her husband”? Really? They’re hiccups, for Crissakes, not the bubonic plague. Give me a break, son.

      Anyway, OP, it was a HILARIOUS story!

    • Will be refraining from marriage in the future. Don’t have the time to deal with sociopath wives. And I don’t want to be left to die in a hiccup-induced state of disarray.

      • Dear Fredulous

        As a woman, PLEASE refrain from marriage, dating, sex, or anything else that would bring you into a position to have a relationship with another human being of the opposite sex.

        I assure you, us women have even less time to deal with self righteous and entitled men much like yourself.

        There are no known cases of death caused specifically by hiccups. Don’t be dramatic.

        • I can’t really take your message seriously because you prefaced it with ‘As a woman’. Regardless, thank you for relieving me of my fears associated with hiccuping to death.

    • Sociopath: a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience.

      Nice try on throwing an insult. However I simply must disagree with your “diagnosis”, sir. If you go back and read the article SHE was the one who convinced her husband to seek medical help to remedy his hiccups – for the sake of his sanity as well as hers.

      You obviously don’t have children, or maybe even any form of responsibility, if you don’t become envious of others for their ability to sleep as long as they desire; especially after a long day of work or dealing with others – much like yourself.

      Please back yourself up with logic and humor next time you’d like to poke at another person’s form of stress relief. If anything, she is practicing very clinically healthy behavior by using her words and a blog to express her normal domestic frustrations. A “sociopath wife” in this situation would be she would lash out aggressively and then justify to herself that she is superior.

      You, sir, are the one practicing sociopathic behaviors by you hiding behind a keyboard (antisocial, passive aggressive) and attempting to hurt another’s feelings to boost your own self esteem in a negative fashion. All while justifying to yourself that you are correct, which shows a lack of moral conscience.

      *To the author: please do not let people like this deter you from continuing your blog. I enjoy your stories and I often share them with my significant other. They are a wonderful way for us to have a chuckle and compare our relationship while opening up a flow of communication to our own “annoyances”. I find that those who have nothing nice to say are in need of compassion, and often attack based on their own negative life experiences. I feel sorry for those who are incapable of keeping their negativity to themselves. I hope to hear more from you soon when you have the time!

  2. YES! Thank you! PLEASE often! <3 <3 <3

  3. I laughed so hard at this :)

    My husband had a cough for 7 weeks! After the first 4 days I said go to the doctor, he said it will pass. 3 weeks later still coughing. And not like a quiet one, but the kind that woke me up 16 times in the middle of the night. Finally after a month he decides to register with a doctor (because he couldn’t be bothered to sign up with a local GP). He had to wait another 2 weeks to finally see a doctor and then 10 days of antibiotics. He had a minor infection that could have been cured right away, so nothing life threatening just annoying.

  4. Ahhhh-hahaha, still laughing. As a man, I’ll be the first to say that we are the biggest babies on the planet. So your complaints are all valid, and hilariously written. Thanks for the laughs. My wife is a nurse, that probably only amplifies the situation in my household.


  5. Next time, have him try the latest cure I have found that actually works. Have a glass of water (or other liquid of your choice) ready, then breathe out as much as you possibly can and before you take a breath, drink about 4-5 swallows of the liquid. It works like a charm for me. I had tried all of the other “remedies” including inhaling, holding it and then drinking; a teaspoon of sugar; a tablespoon of peanut butter; breathing into a paper bag (better for hyperventilating) and so on, but the above was the best and most reliable “cure” for the hiccups that I ever had (I’m in my late 60’d so I’ve been alive, had the hiccups and tried the cures longer than most people).

  6. Captain Awesome

    I never usually comment but I just wanted to say that I have missed these fantastic posts of yours! I hope that everything is ok with your family and that you don’t let the trolls like above get you down :)

  7. Love your articles! I truly and deeply love my husband of 25+ years, but I can so relate with your articles!

  8. Love you blog! Totally sympathise, just started blogging about my hubby who is doing ‘Tough Mudder’ in 3 months and hasn’t started training! ARGH!!!! http://thefatmudder.blogspot.co.uk/ So glad I am not alone! Keep the posts coming!!! Brilliant!

  9. I can’t stop laughing. I’m in tears … I know where you’re coming from Girl! It’s sooo hilarious!!!!!! Thanks for the good laugh! Love it!

  10. Hahaha another great post, more please!!!!

  11. Whenever I have to listen to somebody hiccuping it makes me want to slap them until they either stop hiccuping or just leave the vicinity until the hiccups are gone. It’s one of the most annoying sounds in the world, I’m pretty sure.

  12. Oh, I really laughed over this! You are a riot! Keep it up! Can’t wait for more!

  13. I just found your site . Like some others I was googling “annoying husband” to try to figure out how I could keep from going crazy.

    Oh the stories I could tell. We have been married 28 years and the annoyances don’t stop. If anything they grow as you add age related quirks on top of normal annoyances. I love him to death but he is driving me nuts.

    Let me start with just example. My husband is so annoying he says the PRIEST’s parts at church! If the priest is doing a singing part he will sing right along with him. Now I am glad he is into it and some women would love to have a husband go to church with them but what the heck! It is so distracting.

    This Sunday he was also singing the cantor parts. So the cantor is supposed to sing a part to show you how it goes, then the cantor raises his arms to let you know it’s time to join in. But no, my husband doesn’t seem to get it and has already been singing the cantor parts. He and the canton. Everyone else is quiet. So I sit there fighting the urge to jab him to be quiet… but it’s in church after all and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. The worst part is he is absolutely tone deaf and it sounds absolutely terrible! Don’t get me started on his nodding and saying things during the homily.

  14. I’m with you on the sleep! He sleeps until when ever he wants &I always wake up early to take care of our kid. It’s the type of jealousy that makes you so angry instead of envious.

  15. Just came across this blog after typing these words in search, “why is everything my husband doing annoying me?” So, I guess I don’t have to tell you ladies that I was at the end of my rope. Just reading this has given me a chuckle, and hope because I know that I’m not alone. Thanks for creating. Absolutely, LOVE it!

    • I could not agree more and like you was searching..my husband is annoying in search of finding a good Ecard to humor me and this is cracking me up!

  16. When I get the hiccups, or frankly ANY thorax-rippling, diaphragm-derived viscera twitch that threatens the fragile-as-gossamer state of my holy union, my ball-and-chain will strike me thrice with an Orchard Supply shovel around the area of my coccyx. I kid you not. It doesn’t stop the hiccups? But the gestalt release of tension prevents my beloved from going full Wolfen on me. So there is gratitude. Well. Not gratitude, I guess.

  17. Hilarious and thanks for sharing!

  18. Thanks for saving me today!

  19. Hey now I have managed it. Posting from sick bed, can’t believe this exists, it’s frigging amazing and my bloody life saver. Thank you fellow married people. 😤😧😩

  20. Ignore the haters!!

    Incredibly witty and utterly realistic! How damn annoying!
    Least ur honest and aren’t afraid to share it!

  21. Pal why so you put up with this garbage? I mean really have you no dignity?

    You let your frumpy wife run a website where she publicly ridicules you. Do you enjoy being emasculated? No wonder you have a beer in your hand all the time.

    Grow a pair, dude. You’re a pathetic excuse for a man.

    • Grow a pair … of pants? Skinner, what are you on about? Real men know you can’t ‘grow’ pants. You have to buy them on sale at Old Navy.

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