Reader Submission: Kourtni

My fiance is absolutely amazing, except in public. The most annoying thing he does is at the grocery store. We don’t live together yet but I always take him grocery shopping with me because he can get himself snacks for my apartment and he helps me carry in all the bags when we get back home. Anyway, I’ll admit I take quite awhile grocery shopping. I peruse the aisles and look to get the best prices (I’m on a budget after all!). While I’m deep in concentration trying to figure out between brand-name or store-brand, my fiance will sneak items in the cart while I’m not looking. The things he sneaks aren’t things he wants, though — pickled pig’s feet, bouillon cubes, and economy size ranch dressing to name a few.

The worst part is getting up to the cash register with these items. I won’t catch them in the cart until I’m putting things up on the counter. Obviously, I’m not going to buy these things so I quickly give my fiance a dirty look and place them where the impulse-buy items are (gum, candy, mints, etc.) which inevitably leads to the cashier and people behind me to give me dirty looks, while my fiance is snickering behind the cart. The first time he did it, I didn’t catch it, and I ended up buying canned beets and mock caviar. These things are still sitting on my pantry shelf, forever reminding me of how annoying my precious husband-to-be is.

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15 responses to “Reader Submission: Kourtni

  1. Lauren Bradshaw

    This is hilarious!!! (Although I’m glad he’s not mine). I occasionally go grocery shopping with my single friends – I’ll have to try this. They’ll love it. Right? (I’m married with 4 kids – I need to entertain myself somehow…)

  2. I think I will do this to my girlfriend now. Sounds like fun. And canned beets really aren’t that bad.

  3. This is so great. It’s really nice to know I’m not alone in my quest of dealing with how annoying my fiance can be. You know I can’t keep cheese in the apartment longer than 2 days? He is obsessed with cheese and eats it as quickly as possible. But he never eats the last bit of anything… I’ve found a half inch piece of a block of cheese in a baggy in the fridge because he “felt bad” and “wanted to save some” for me. The same goes for ham, icecream, chips, cereal…basically anything he can get his hands on and split or break into pieces of some kind. I’m lucky I was blessed with patience, for his sake if nothing else!

  4. “….she was from Albany, she was seventeen, and she had just finished high school. She had taken a summer job as a waitress in this Catskill Mountain resort because the pay was good and she needed the money to go to a junior college in Vermont. I told her I was from New York City and I explained how I had found my summer job as a bakery truck driver, and that I also needed money to finish college in Pennsylvania. We danced a few times, but most of the time we just talked.
    I was really impressed with this girl. She was certainly not an airhead like many of the girls I had known in the past. Our personalities were very different, but we were very much alike in our beliefs about the importance of education, a strong work ethic, and a strong sense of humor. I told her I wanted to go out with her again….”

    Their homes were 150 miles apart, and the colleges they attended were separated by over four hundred miles.

    What happens next?

    For the first person who responds with a promise to read it, I’ll send a copy of the the book.

  5. The sad part is … I could see myself doing the same thing! I must be a bad person :) Thanks for the chuckle.

  6. This is hilarious! I laughed so much :D I think he has a great sense of humor!

  7. I forgot to mention, I will do it as well :D
    Thanks for sharing!

  8. I don’t understand why you object to the pickled pigs’ feet.

  9. Is your Fiance annoying, or does he just have a sense of humor? Does this horribly annoying individual know that you take him shopping just because you need a bag boy? If you were fully human, you would have written something such as, “I always take him shopping because I just love being around him and working together; he can be really silly and put gross items in the cart like pigs’ feet. I didn’t catch him the first time!” Alas, you aren’t. Why is it that men are lambasted for objectifying women, yet women who use men are not?

  10. I used to do that to my grandmother when I was a kid. She’s a vegetarian and the look on her face when she saw a big, juicy liver in her cart remains one of my fondest childhood memories…that and the look from when I taped a huge snake photo to the fridge handle then sat back and waited. Good times! I love my gram and we laugh about it now but man I was not a nice kid apparently! Back to the point. I completely understand where he is coming from. Sadly, it’s just good old fashioned fun and no one looses an eye!

  11. I think that’s adorable :) Here’s hoping he keeps up his sense of humor over the years. :)

  12. pigs feet.. oh man! you should give them to some stray dogs if they continue to sit. i don’t think i could eat anything like that.

  13. all you have to do is tell the cashier you changed your mind so they can reshelve the items…

  14. Wow. I’m pretty sure that was a little bit of an overreaction.

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