It’s about that time that my husband and I are starting to come up with a birth plan. Call us (or me, really) stupid but we’re hoping to do it the ‘all natural’ way – without any pain medication or intervention. Yeah, I know what most of you (especially you mothers out there) are thinking and you’re probably right. Even with the best of intentions, I’ll likely be offering up my first-born child for an epidural.
Anyway, among other reasons, we made this decision after doing a bit of research and discovering that the drugs they give you to speed up labor often make it much more intense and painful which then makes most women pretty much beg for relief of any kind.
[I'll pause now so women who have already been through this can laugh at my naiveté and tell me that the drugs were the only thing that kept them from killing their doctor, nurses, husband and anybody else who dared enter their sight. Done? Ok, let's continue...]
The other day I mentioned to my husband that it might be difficult for him to watch me in pain even though the end result is (hopefully) totally worth it. You know what he said?
“But if you do it naturally, there shouldn’t be any pain.”
That’s not the best part, though. The other day we saw a promo for the news anchor that would be getting a live colonoscopy on the air. And you know what my husband said then?
“That means he has to be awake! When I get a colonoscopy, I want to be completely knocked out.”
But if he has a colonoscopy naturally, there shouldn’t be any pain…
I wish you the best of luck with your plans for a natural birth! It can be done, so don’t let the cynical, more experienced moms put a damper on your birth plan. As for me, I had to be induced so by the time the anesthesiologist came around with my epidural, I offered to french kiss him…like he would have really wanted to french kiss a sweaty, bloated, moaning woman. Then I pondered naming our son “Epidural.” Those are some sweet drugs if you need them; here’s hoping you won’t. Unfortunately, there’s nothing pain-free about birth, natural or otherwise. I bruised my husband’s hand so badly he couldn’t use it for two days. Or maybe that was his excuse for not changing diapers. Hmmm.
Giving birth honestly isn’t THAT bad!!!! And I’m a complete chicken when it comes to any kind of pain, so I’m not saying this lightly!!!! I gave birth to a large baby (4.15 kg, I think it’s around 10lb), with no meds at all and the main thing was the exhaustion at the very end… all I wanted was to hold my baby and get to my room!!! So dont worry, you can do it!!!
Agreed Jessica. Going into the hospital I was practically walking in backwards so that they could start the epidural right away. But alas, my son had other plans. I had to do it completely natural – NOTHING!!! Don’t get me wrong. It hurt but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would. Breast feeding hurt more than giving birth naturally.
Jessika,
It’s silly to say that giving birth is not that bad! I thought so for the first 28 hours of labor and then…. it was utter torture. Everyone has a different birth experience and I personally would be dead without modern medicine. Women around the world die all the time during birth and birth can be excruciating pain for many women.
And then… there are women like my friend Leah who gave birth in two hours for the first son, 4 hours for the second son. She said it wasn’t that bad. But not all women are so lucky for such an easy labor.
TMI
TMI?!?!?!? Are you SERIOUS????
Ugh. Go away.
That’s why we have the children and the men don’t!
That was a great post! LOL and great choice by the way. I choose the natural way too and it was totally worth it!
My 3rd baby is turning 1 tomorrow and we just found out we are (SURPRISE!!) pregnant with #4, due in Nov. I wish you the best of luck! 2 of my kids were over 9 lbs and my youngest was just under that. I’d sell my husband AND my 3 kids for an epidural when November comes around. You are much braver than I am and I can’t wait to hear how it goes!
I was also induced so I know the pain from that end and it wasn’t pretty, not to mention the epidural didn’t really work for me…I fell asleep instead lol. My husband had a really hard time seeing me in that much pain he kept trying to convience me to get a c-section (yeah like THAT wouldn hurt any less!!) Good luck with your delivery though! I’m sure things will go fine, just be prepared in case it doens’t go 100% according to plan.
I love how the husband’s sweatshirt says Grand Haven on it…I live near there.
That said…kick your hubby in the balls and say since it’s a natural reaction it shouldn’t hurt.
I gave birth to all 3 of my children the natural, no drug, route. I had long labors, but I refused meds because I was afraid of what it might do to my babies. I was NOT induced, but I understand when they use those drugs to induce it makes the labor really hard and many opt for the epidural, and I do not blame them one bit. I hope all works out for you to have a natural childbirth.
If i didn’t have so many health problems i think i may have tried giving birth natural with my children. Alas, i went the ‘normal’ route and got an epidural. Which basically made it to where they had to lay off on it bc i couldn’t feel anything beneath my waist! it was intense. The only reason i had an Epi was because i was high risk and i didn’t want my BP or anything else to sky rocket; landing me and my family in a worse off scenario. I’ve had friends that have had natural births and they loved it, it’s a personal choice. And if you’re healthy enough to go through it i say “Bravo!”
I have 4 kids. After 3 natural births, the 4th baby need to be induced. I then knew why women like the epidural! I think the best plan is a flexible plan. Go natural if at all possible, but if you need the pain meds don’t beat yourself up. If you do need an epidural, make your husband watch! Mine about passed out, hee hee!
Good luck! I had to get induced and ended up getting a C-section. My husband, who is seriously freaked out by blood, was led in by a nurse right as they sliced me open. He was very white but managed to not pass out the whole time. I was very proud of him.
I think a birth plan is a good idea, but just remember to be flexible. Babies have a mind of their own, and don’t always fit in the plan the way we want.
That’s how I ended up with a C-section.
Hubbys are clueless. The last commenter had it right on – make a birth plan, but plan for the unexpected too. My first was unexpected C section after 22 hours of “natural”, then the next two kids were vaginal, both natural. But I gotta tell ya – after 22 hours of labor, that epidural was pure heaven!
I wish you the best of luck with that!! I never tried for natural child birth my two kids. But I did want to wait as long as I could before I used an epidural….well that didn’t happen eaither, after the first three or four big contractions I was screaming for the epidural! I am a big baby when it comes to pain! I really hope your birth plan works for you!!
Unfortunately, I can vouch for the pain factor when you have drugs to speed up labor. My water had broken 24 hours earlier and they were worried about infections so I had no choice. Comparing that birth to the birth of my first with no pain meds… well, no comparison. The first was miserably bad and took forever. The second (with speeding up drugs) took much less time but it was ten times worse.
Reading this post reminded me of a show currently on in the UK on Channel 4 called ‘One born every minute’ that is hilarious and heartwarming. As you may have guessed it is a documentary about different women giving birth. I’m not sure if you can access the video from the US, but it seems relevant if you wanted to check it out.
http://lifebegins.channel4.com/
(Contrary to how my post sounds I do not work for or am not affiliated with Channel 4 or this program in anyway!)
my jaw DROPPED at your husbands comment!!!! SERIOUSLY?!?! i agree with the poster to kick him in the balls.
the medical field equates child birth with a broken tib/fib. the kind that protrudes through your skin from your thigh. actually, i heard a tib/fib is rated as a 9 on the pain scale, and child birth can easily be a 10. (everyone is different though, of course.)
um, hello? your husband is clueless.. natural childbirth is indeed very painful, but you do get some reprieve in between contractions! it’s totally worth it though!
I’ve done it twice using gas – it was great! both the labour & the gas. It’s the least of the pain meds and you only have it as you need it 7 the baby doesn’t get any cause the half life of it is around 40 secs. No stitches it’s completely doable. But go with the flow if you need it you need it.
men are terrible – we are farmers & my husband said – eh was just like one of the cows really. Yah thanks for that…..
It’s been a long time since I posted (my husband is the “No toilet paper, what do I do? guy, and the first “stupid face pictures” guy) I’m so happy for you, and hope you’re feeling well!
The smartest possible birth “plan” is to be FLEXIBLE. People who have never given birth often go into it with preconceived ideas of how things should go, when in reality, its something you have little to no control over. Educate yourself about all your options and make sure to advocate for yourself when you’re there, but try not to get your heart set on it going any specific way. You mentioned “labor speeding” drugs necessitating epidural- you can have an epidural for pain without necessarily having had pitocin. They don’t necessarily go hand in hand.
Also realize that whichever way it goes, gazillions of women have done it that way and ended up healthy with healthy babies. There’s no one right way to do it. Just trust yourself and your doctor and know that your body knows how to do this, and be ready to adapt to whatever the situation demands.
For what it’s worth, I wanted to marry my epidural. But that was just MY experience. Yours may be different.
Do the best you can!!! You will be getting advice from all corners, good and bad, but only you know what will work for you, your baby and your challenged but oh so adorable husband. Childbirth is a life changing experience but totally worth it, keep your eye on the prize. Don’t feel guilty about whether or not you choose pain medication, you will have a whole lifetime of guilt ahead of you as a parent!!!
it is absolutely doable to have unmedicated childbirth. if you want to pursue that route, i HIGHLY recommend going to some classes. miss she’ll-be-28-this-year was born without any anything as far as pain management (yay for military hospitals) and mr can-i-drive-the-car-i-have-my-permit-now was an unplanned c-section because he was taking up permanent residence whether i was in labor or not. (i definitely was.)
go to the childbirth classes. make Mr Man go with you. make him PAY ATTENTION. talk with your doctor about what your birth plan is, AND talk with your doctor about what will be done if things arent going perfectly. the drugs to induce/speed up labor are icky, but all in all? you get a baby in the end.
and once you see that little one, you know that it was worth it. if you can make your hubby queasy in the midst of it, BONUS!
oh and miss sues? my dad said that in 1963 when i was born. (apparently mama had a very “hippy dippy” doctor who demanded that my dad be in the room because he was there when i got started.) the doc looked at mama and said “do i hit him or do you want to reserve the pleasure of doing it yourself?” she didnt tell me that story till about a month ago. i’m 46. *snickering*
I’m lmao @ your dh’s comments. My bf is the same way! He actually told me once when he had a stomach ache that he was in so much pain that it hurt more then giving birth. I about died!
its awesome that you’re wanting to try natural, but i agree with the others that a flexible plan is great! with my 1st child i got the epi, and it ended up slowing down my labor and then i had to get a drug to speed it up again lol! i’ve been having back pains and spasms since the epi. with my 2nd child i got a morphine shot and used the gas….if i were to ever have another i’d do it the same as the 2nd, or even leave out the morphine. cause even though the epi was heaven for me during, its got bad after pain for me
Do it ALL NATURAL, it’s the best feeling (afterwards) in the WORLD!!! My first daughter was a 25 hour active labor (Ask my doctor) and honestly it was bad but we made it through and I kept my eye on the prize. Knowing that all this pain would bring me the beautiful sweet daughter who is now a tween!! My 2nd daughter was also natural though I have no idea active labor was since I was too busy trying to get ready for Thanksgiving!!!! If you can try it, you and your children will be truly blessed by it, and if not then you can spend the rest of their lives reminding them of the NATURAL pain you endured for them (I use it when I have too
)
Please make your husband watch a birthing video
I had the best intentions of a natural childbirth as well – after six hours I gave in and asked for an epidural. The relief was so great – I was able to sleep for six hours – woke up and pushed for 30 minutes and had a healthy son (who just turned 22). Absolutely make a plan – but be willing to change as things go along. Being able to rest for a few hours allowed me to push more efficiently and he came out quickly. Good luck!
You can definitely do it!!! I wanted a natural birth as well and was lucky to have one. I would do research and attend a class (hypno/lamaza/bradley). I think they help. But I would also have a FLEXIBLE birth plan!! That’s the best for you and the baby. And the best advic I received…as every contraction passes you are one step closer to meeting your baby. GL!!
Baby #1: 7 lbs 1 oz., no painkillers or anything because they didn’t check me at just the right time that I COULD have had any pain killers. I survived.
Baby #2: 9 lbs 9 oz, but didn’t know that until he was already born – had painkillers for that one. It helps get you over the hump of those really really really bad contractions. I survived. Baby survived. No horrible effects from medical intervention.
End result: You can do it either way. I’d still rather give birth than have dental surgery. Good luck!
Men. My husband complained to me while I was in the pushing phase of labor that his arm was cramping up from helping me to hold one of my legs. Really? Your ARM is hurting? Try labor, dumbazz!
BTW- Go into birth with a plan, but an open mind to change. The worst thing you can do it not be 100% informed of every eventuality, from wanting pain meds and what you’d prefer to try, to the possibility of a c-section. Women who suffer the most mentally after childbirth are the ones who were too deadset on only ONE “perfect” way to bring their child into this world.
I want to be asleep during my colonoscopy too.
I did 2 with drugs and 1 without, I’d go with drugs if I were to do it again.
Gotta love the “birth clueless” men. You’re right about it being hard for him to watch. I did have an epidural, but it wore off before I began pushing. I did the hard part…..the hard way. For two hours I pushed, and screamed (oh Lord, did I scream), and cried. The poor father. He’s one of those “can’t shed a tear for anything, ever” guys and he admitted later he almost broke down a couple of times. He said it was incredibly difficult watching me in so much pain and not being able to do a thing about it (except count).
As for the natural birth, you go. It’s totally do-able. I know girls who have done it. Me? I was in labor for 24 hours and pushing for 2. He got stuck and I ended up with a C-section, so I would have had an epidural regardless. Just remember though, pushing is crazy athletic. I was so thankful I was able to rest up for it through labor instead of laying there writhing in pain, exhausting myself for 22 hours (and at one point the nurse said my contractions were hitting 8 min long!!). There is some “magical force” that seems to drive you though. During the 2 “epidural free” hours I pushed (and I had to push standing and squatting, which I believe should have won some kind of squatting record….my trainer would have been floored), you can’t think of how tired you are. All you can think of is getting that damn baby out before your whole body rips apart. It is definitely an experience you both will remember. You will amaze yourself at what you will be able to do. (Oh, and btw, the breathing techniques designed to help with the pain…..they could have shoved them up their asses).
The childbirth “secrets” that all of us mom’s already know are:
1. Make a plan but be flexible. It’s not like you have a real choice if push comes to shove [pun intended].
2. You will forget at some point during labor if you are supposed to “heeheehee” breathe or “hahaha” breathe and absolutely will not care; keep the faith that your body (like millions of women who’ve given birth without a formal documented birth plan) will know what it needs to do when it needs to do “it.”
3. Nursing/Bottle-fed? We are all examples that there is nourishment in both– it’s a completely personal decision and you’ll make the right choice for you and your baby.
4. You tend to “forget” (okay it really becomes a fuzzy hazy of memory) the pain of childbirth shortly after you embrace the sweetness of a newborn.
5. Trust your instincts as a new mother as most times they will be spot on. You know your child better than anyone (including them).
6. Be flexible… forever. Your little person will ensure that change is about the only constant for you and your family for a very long time.
Lastly, always know that this journey is a completely thankless “job,” but there is no other journey in life that is, at least to me, as beautiful, profound or meaningful.
Can’t wait for the newborn updates to see if your hubby says something like mine did with our newborn who was crying at 3 AM to be fed: “Hey…wake up… the baby is calling for you.”
I think your idea of a natural birth is great and you will have no problem sticking to it. Once they showed my husband and I the wavier that you have to sign to have an epidural and that you can be paralyzed from it, we decided to go natural. I did that for all 5 of my children. Good luck!
Hey, I just came across your blog and I love it! My husband too is very annoying! And as far as the natural birth I just want to say that I have done it both ways. Six months ago I had a BIG baby boy naturally. When I had my daughter I had pitocen and an epidural. The epidural was sooo nice, until they turned it off! The natural birth, while more painful, was very empowering. But I felt empowered the first time as well. Either way, do things the way that YOU want because it is YOUR birth experience! Congrats!
I’m always astounded by other women’s need to impart their “experienced motherly wisdom” to newly pregnant first time mom’s. Often this wisdom involves gruesome details from a “horrific ” birth experience. Okay. It’s true. Some women have bad experiences, but it’s not that simple.
It sounds like you’re doing your research. Smart cookie. Ignorance is not bliss, but simply being stupid. Knowing all your options is so important. Finding a doctor who honors all types of birth and labor ideas is huge. The wrong doctor, the more off track things can become. With both my daughters, we switched doctors as the due date got closer. Having the right care-giver makes a world of difference.
I worked at healthy eating and exercise when I was pregnant. I wanted to prepare my body for the work ahead. With my first child, I had some hip issues and started seeing a chiropractor who worked with pregnant women during my seventh month. Did all my reading and working out aid in my “easy” deliveries? Perhaps. But had I needed drugs, I’d have taken them.
Making an informed decision is primary. Both my girls were born without meds, but that’s because that was the right choice for us. No complications; rather textbook experience. Pain? Duh. The bottom line is that when all is said and done, you have a wonderful new person to lovely unconditionally.
yay! I love birth stories- that was fun!
I dragged my faithful, delightful and never-ever-annoying husband to 16 birth classes in preparation for a Natural Birth with #1. When he wasn’t napping or playing with an App on his I-phone, he paid really close attention. We made it all the way through the Bradley classes and everything! Then, ta-da!- twelve hours into labor we find out she’s breech. Instant C-Section.
My second’s due in September. My hospital won’t do Vbacs. It blows.
Fascinating subject, birth.
(BTW- Bradley classes are great, even though it may be late in the game, because it is especially geared to husband training.)
Other than that? Hire a doula!