Guest Post: “Your Mother…”

[Today’s post comes to us from Kelly, whose husband seems to think he’s a comedian.  (Actually, it seems like most men think they’re hilarious even when they’re not.  As long as they’re amusing themselves…)  You can find more on Kelly’s blog at http://chroniclesofanewwife.blogspot.com/.  Thanks, Kelly! 

If you’ve got a funny story or pictures to share, send them to me at myhusbandisannoying@live.com]

The husband likes to think he’s funny. He tells me all the time. “But babe, I’m funny!”

The problem is, his idea of funny and my idea of funny are completely different. I mean completely.

I have to tell you that the husband is a high school teacher, so he deals with 16 year olds all day. And inevitably, he picks up on their lingo. And uses it. And thinks he’s funny. He also picks up on their 16 year old behavior. And things that should not be funny, entertaining or at all interesting to a 28 year old man are suddenly hysterical, enjoyable and applied to his and my every day life.

Recently, he started using the phrase ‘your mother’ all the time. Our conversations would go something like:

Me: Babe do you want some pasta with the chicken?

Husband: Your mother wants pasta.

Huh?  At first this confused me.  That doesn’t even make sense.  My mother wants pasta?  What??

And he found this hysterical.  In fact, the more confused I was, the funnier he thought it was.  And because he found it so entertaining it only encouraged him to use it  more.

Me: Do you need socks babe?

Husband: Your mother needs socks. 

Me: I really want some brownies.

Husband: Your mother wants brownies.

And so it goes.

I partially blame the 16 year olds. I purposely do not laugh at these ‘your mother’ moments. I know laughter fuels the fire and I just don’t want to go there. The problem is at work. I imagine him standing at the front, commanding attention from the helpless teens. They have to listen to these tales of torture that the husband bestows upon me. And of course they are going to laugh. Afterall, these stories are much more entertaining than learning about the causes of the french revolution. Although I understand their dilemma, they are truly working against me.

Possibly the worst part about it all is the husband does not see it this way. He comes home day after day telling me how funny his students think he is. Reasoning with him that they find him hilarious because they are immature, hormonal 16 year olds who are trapped in his class does not work. He will forever think of himself as being a comedian.

-Kelly

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19 responses to “Guest Post: “Your Mother…”

  1. Great post!

    The link to her blog doesn’t work though..

  2. My husband also thinks he is stand up material, but he doesn’t deal with kids / teens at all.

    Honey if you have to explain to me that your joke was funny, it probably wasn’t!

    I still give him the occasional golf clap though.

  3. Bonanza Jellybean

    Ha Ha! I’ll have to try the golf clap on my husband who is constantly using the same stupid jokes on me (which I may have given a half-hearted laugh)… I guess I should be glad that he tries so hard to amuse me though :)

  4. Oh my gosh! My husband DOES this! Only with him it’s “Your mom.” He learned it from a coworker, and it’s so incredibly annoying.

  5. Everytime we go out to dinner, conversations go like this…
    Me: What do you think you are going to get?
    Boyfriend: Oh. Well…I think I will get the halibut this time. Something different. Just for the halibut! (If you don’t get it…it is “just for the hell of it” translated).

    EVERY Single time. Then he cracks up at just how hilarious he is. I have to say, I laugh at him afterward…not for the joke but laughter is contagious.

  6. Really? You were actually confused at the “your mother” thing? I’ll admit, I don’t think it’s as hilarious as men seem to, but it’s pretty obvious that it’s a joke.

    So many of the posts on this blog just serve to validate men’s accusations of wives being uptight sticks-in-the-mud. As a wife, I find this pretty annoying. Really, you can’t just go ahead and chuckle at his joke?

    (For the inevitable “why are you reading this blog then?”: I like the Friday photos. The ones that aren’t “my stupid husband always makes this face” are sometimes hilarious.)

  7. My husband does this as well! Along with “that’s what she said.” It’s probably 2 the most frequent things I hear him say. I’ve even heard him say it to himself when NO ONE is in the room with him…..

  8. I believe this joke comes from the movie “Napoleon Dynamite.” It’s a pretty funny movie :-) You should watch it with your husband.

  9. CrabbyHumorlessBastard

    ” (Actually, it seems like most men think they’re hilarious even when they’re not. As long as they’re amusing themselves…) ”

    Irony meter seriously overheating…

  10. Oh man. I am absolutely guilty of the “your mom” thing, and it totally predates Napolean Dynamite (which I’ve never seen). It’s brillant! Haha!

  11. OMG, my boyfriend does the exact same thing!!! What’s even worse is that I have found myself saying the same thing at the most awkward times to people who have no clue what I am saying. I must stop this behavior! :)

  12. My husband likes to use the phrase “that’s what she said”….he picked this up from the TV show The Office. It’s Michael Scotts favorite line….I am so tired of it!!!

  13. Your husband is a professional teacher. You are not. He’s there. You are not. But you know better than he does how he should interact with his students. Sure, you do.

  14. i do this all the time with my boyfriend and we both think it is hilarious. we have several catch phrases like that, and we’d totally say stuff like “hey wanna go to the movies tonight?” -“yeah. you want fries with that?” and we are responsible grown-ups with jobs, 28 and 29 years old. i guess it is more a matter of personal taste than it is of gender – and mind you, i’m working in my phd in gender studies, haha.

  15. I am so excited to see my post on here! Thank you! I have since changed my website to http://chroniclesofanewwife.blogspot.com/ Thanks for the support!

  16. My friends and I (mid-late 20’s, females and males, alike) participate in the “your mom” humor. “Your mom” humor gets to be rather humorous when siblings are involved, ha. And we also break out “your face” humor.
    –“That skirt is really ugly.”
    “Your face is really ugly.”
    Etc….

  17. OMG my husband does the same thing. He’s been doing this for about a year now. Anything random you say it starts with “your mom” back ….. So I started doing it back to him and it stopped for a bit lol.

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