[Today's guest post comes to us from Gaby in Chula Vista, CA who seems to have a very particular husband! Thanks, Gaby! Send your stories and pictures to myhusbandisannoying@live.com.]
Why can’t things be simple sometimes???
Trying to be a good wife, I emailed my husband this morning asking him if he wanted me to stop by Subway on the way home to pick up dinner. We both work long hours and sometimes this is the best we have. Usually he picks about the same thing every time. Today, however, he decided to be a little more demanding. And of course, I’ve gotten like 20 text messages asking me if I got the brilliance that is his email. I have to admit that it is funny, but if I let him know that I think that, I’ll never hear the end of it!!!
From: Zachary
Sent: Tuesday, February 02, 2010 6:54 AM
To: Gabrielle
Subject: subway
Did you get my text? This is what I want.
-Foot long roasted chicken breast
- Provolone cheese (if they don’t have any throw a fit then go buy some)
- Toasted with the onions on the cheese (this is very important)
- Light lettuce (I will throw it back at you if there is too much!)
- Tomatoes (not too much but not too little)
- Pickles (evenly distributed throughout the sandwich or I will put them in your ears!)
- Light mayo (not a lot and if it’s too much you will be wearing the extra!!)
- Spicy mustard (but not too spicy)
-Baked Lays (regular, no wait if they have backed sour cream I want those BUT ONLY BAKED!! Otherwise just regular BUT if you give me bbq I will crush them up and put them in your hair!)
-A bottle of Coke Zero (anything else results in you sleeping on the couch tonight) but if they don’t have that then diet coke will do and you can sleep on the air mattress.
-Tha thing
The best thing about this has got to be the signature. Tha Thing? Realy? LOL!! My hubby loves to refer to himself by strange names as well. Some examples…..The General, Studman, Tha Man, The Awesomeness. Yep, men are crazy!
I have to admit that was a funny email. Makes me think of when my husband texts me from the basement to tell me to come downstairs to take his order.
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think it’s funny
I think it’s childish and petulant. If he had been threatening to “throw it on the ground” Andy Samberg style, that would be funny, but threatening to smear your wife with mayonnaise and make her sleep on the couch because Subway didn’t make your sandwich right seems a little jerky.
I quite agree with you. “Put them in your ears” sound funny but terms like “you will be wearing it” is a bit out of line.
It most certainly does NOT sound like an adult relationship. More like mother – child behaviour. Jerk may be a bit too harsh.
That post is an absolutely winner!
I think it’s very funny! and I would hope that any man who can write a funny email wouldn’t actually make her sleep on a couch/air mattress!
This is probably one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time! But never EVER let him know that. Still, it sounds like you have a great hubby
It definitely sounds like an e-mail meant to be a joke….especially because the 20 texts wanting her to see it. Therefore, it’s amazing! “Tha thing” is clearly an awesome very annoying, ego building guy thing to do. Love it.
I just wanted to stop by and tell you that your blog is fantastic! I just stumbled upon it today, doing a Google Search and I seriously cannot stop laughing!! You are hilarious, and even though I am not married, I can totally relate to what you are saying.
I am so happy to know your blog now. I’ll be back, dahlin!
http://www.clarabelleblog.com
this is insane…and I thought my husband was picky when I bring Subway home
Thanks for posting my email! Of course, now hubby thinks everything he writes is genius because he’s officially “published.” And for the record, he didn’t actually do any of those mean things listed. I got a big THANK YOU and he did the laundry since I “cooked”.
oh gosh, if I got that I would have gone to Subway and gotten a meatball sub. crazy, talk about demanding
hahaha this is great
Next time just lay on the bed with all the ingredients all over your body. That’s clearly what he wanted!
LOL. I was all set to call his message creepy until I got to this comment.
Obviously, G, you understand his sense of humor better than I do. Even treating it as a joke, I think I would have responded by “accidentally” cc’ing him on a (fake) email to a (nonexistent) locksmith asking how quickly I could get the locks changed. Then I would have left sandwich ingredients piled up outside the door.
Funny text, but I agree with the other women, I hope he’s joking vs being abusive. When I saw “Tha Thing” I thought that was a reference to the wife wearing everything as a result of the picky hubby not liking the order. Since he calls himself that he sounds as if he has a sense of humor vs a temper. BTW are you sure he’s not preggers since he’s so demanding?! LOL. Plus I agree with Jem’s remark about wearing all the ingredients to bed. Nothing wrong with a good version of “9 1/2 weeks”
I took his email/text as a joke, not some serious marital abuse. Just sounds like he was joking around.
I know all about the picky husband…mines like that to with subway. Has to have a certain cheese, on both sides of the bread, a certain number of pickles, exact dressing….thankfully the people at subway know us and remember his order cause i never do lol!
I don’t think this was meant seriously, it’s obviously a joke. I think it’s hilarious, but I agree with the others about never letting him know that. Funny the first time, annoying the million and one times after that.
Gaby! I living in CV too! ‘Hi’ from you neighbor (805 & Telegraph Canyon).
Liz : )
lol it was pretty funny and i know he meant to be funny and charmingly cruel lol (im never getting married) lmao loved it!
Small world! I’m also from CV! I live by Castle Park high- how funny