Last night, like millions of other people, my husband and I were getting set to watch the Superbowl. I’m not a football fan and I had no stake in the game at all; I pretty much just watch the commericals and do crossword puzzles in between ads. My husband, though certainly not a fanatic, does enjoy the game and had a team he was rooting for. Since I didn’t particularly care which team won, I just picked the team he didn’t like. (Oh, c’mon…you know you do this too.)
So since we had picked opposite teams, my husband suggested we place a bet on the game. In my younger years, I may have innocently followed up that suggestion with the question, “what are the stakes?” but now I’m no dummy. See, my husband is a man. And, in many ways, a very typical man. And because of that I know that whenever he suggests a bet, the stakes are always the same: sex or some form of sexual activity.
For the sake of all involved, I won’t go into details. But for all the women out there, you know what I’m talking about, right? It’s never a wager for money or for who’s going to do the dishes or for who’s going to walk the dog(s) in the rainy cold. And no matter how healthy a couple’s sex life may be, the man will still make the stakes of a bet about sex. For example:
Man: Wanna make a bet on the football game?
Woman: Sure, why not? What do you want to bet for?
Man [with that look in his eyes that pretty much just says it all]: Oh, I don’t know…got anything in mind?
[And then this is when the man tries to get all coy in the hopes that the woman will pick up on the suggestive tone and say it herself for some reason.]
Yup, I know I’m generalizing here. And maybe it’s just my husband that does this on a regular basis though womehow, I don’t think so. But believe me, the next time the subject of betting comes up, you can put money on the fact that if he loses, I’ll be making him do the dishes…no sexual favors necessary.
14 responses so far ↓
Michelle // February 8, 2010 at 4:48 pm |
Haha! That made me laugh! My husband does the exact same thing…so you are definitely not alone! Now that I’m 5 months pregnant and (usually) in no mood for sex, I just change the subject whenever it comes up…
Jean // February 8, 2010 at 5:20 pm |
SO true! And theirs is always sex and ours is always chores too!
HumorlessBastard // February 18, 2010 at 2:10 am |
Says a lot, doesn’t it?
carrie // February 8, 2010 at 10:22 pm |
I wouldn’t mind this so much since sex, seems like a win/win situation.
Kellie // February 9, 2010 at 10:46 am |
I wouldn’t mind this at all…hahaha.
Lisa // February 9, 2010 at 10:51 am |
That is too true! I can definetly relate- most of the time I can somewhat commiserate with your husband’s annoyances, but this one was line for line what happens in our house!
Kristen B // February 9, 2010 at 12:37 pm |
Hahaha! Everytime. Now when my husband says “Want to bet?” I usually respond with either “No, or I already know I am right no we don’t need to bet on it”
Sojourner // February 9, 2010 at 5:36 pm |
That’s peculiar. My usual response when my husband makes “bets” like that is to look fake-irritated: “But now you’re making me want to root for YOUR side.” Then I mutter something about dirty pool.
If he ever stopped talking to me like that, I’d start worrying.
The Novelist // February 10, 2010 at 1:24 pm |
I am done having kids and now I love the “Wager” more than ever! It just gets better all the time!
The Mrs // February 11, 2010 at 1:27 pm |
Your husband is absolutely not the only one to do this. Mine does it every single time! And he keeps track of how long it takes me to ’settle up’ when he wins.
amy // February 15, 2010 at 5:35 pm |
This makes me laugh. Our standard bet is “loser on top”.
HumorlessBastard // February 18, 2010 at 2:22 am |
Riiiiigghhhhht… ‘cuz sex with your husband is something you regard as a loss, a bit of menial unpleasantness that he wants to impose on poor unwilling you, on par with extra dish duty.
How many months since the honeymoon, again?
Cat // February 26, 2010 at 3:13 am |
This blog is hilarious. I can relate so well, this one for sure. Thanks for writing this!
The Wife // February 27, 2010 at 5:15 am |
I totally know where you’re coming from here because I have a husband that does that too. About anything. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a bet on something either. All I have to do is ask him to do something and I get the coyly spoken “What’s in it for me…?”
.