Because of the impending addition to our already crowded family (seriously, 3 dogs and 1 cat? TOO MANY animals…), my husband and I are trying to sell our little apartment so we can be a cliché and move to the suburbs. But man, do we have a lot of stuff. It’s so bad that soon you may see us featured on that A&E show, “Hoarders.” Well ok, it’s not that bad but between the two of us we have managed to accumulate quite a lot of stuff. So, whenever we have an open house or are showing the apartment, we have a massive grab anything you see and shove it under any possible surface or into any possible hidden crevice panic. And because my husband generally doesn’t see dirt (yes, somehow dirt is invisible to him…somebody should do some scientific testing on his brain one day), it’s my job to clean and his job to hide the stuff. Unfortunately, he does such a good job of hiding stuff that most of it stays hidden forever.
Me: I need to print out this form. Can you hook up the printer for me?
Husband: Um…I hid the printer cable and now I can’t find it.
Me: [*sigh*]
We still can’t use the printer so now when one of us needs something printed out, we have to wait until I get to work and do it from there. Then yesterday, I got this email from my husband:
Subject: Question
“I may be an ideeit, but I can’t seem to find the laundry stuff. Where is it??”
Apparently in his last hiding frenzy, he hid the detergent and fabric softener along with the card we need to operate the washer and dryer and then couldn’t find it anywhere. Now, you may be asking yourselves, “if the apartment is that small, how many possible hiding places are there?” And you’d be right. But you’d be surprised at how adept my husband is and finding nooks and crannies to shove things in. Then you’d also be surprised at how very un-adept he is at remembering exactly where said things were shoved. It’s like playing a new game of hide and go seek every day except that this version isn’t fun.
[Sidenote: My husband claimed that he looked "everywhere!" for the detergent and simply couldn't figure out where it could possibly be. I got home from work and found it in less than 5 minutes. Though the printer cable does still seem to be eluding us...]
16 responses so far ↓
Mrs Wayne // January 14, 2010 at 2:25 pm |
My husband loses things without even hiding them. He puts everything down on our dining room table, stuff on top of stuff, then when he goes to look for it, it’s “not there” and proceeds to accuse me of moving it somewhere else. All I have to do is get up and move something on the table and WOW! Magically it’s there. Then he’ll say something along the lines of “SEE?! I knew YOU hid it,” when in reality, he is just too lazy to look underneath stuff.
Corinna // January 14, 2010 at 2:46 pm |
I totally understand!!! We have been looking for my extra truck keys for 3 months now. My husband put them away for safe keeping, now they are gone. This morning he had a wire coat hanger digging behind the lazy susan in the cupboard in case they fell down there. So far, I must have thrown them away when I cleaned a cupboard, my son must have taken them or it’s our daughter’s fault because he told her to remember where he hid them!!!
The Hubby Diaries // January 14, 2010 at 3:53 pm |
I could not possibly identify more with this post!
My hubby has, what I like to call,”selective vision”. If it doesn’t pertain to his immediate task, or if it’s not relevant to any activity of interest to him.. he truly does not see it. Dirt is just one example of this!
And, just recently he “lost” a $100 Christmas gift that was supposed to be returned. He “vaguely remembers may be throwing it out” (WTH??) but it could be anywhere. After days of him searching, we found it in a bag, underneath piles of crap in one of our closets!
Normally he can look for days and not find something that takes me minutes to locate!
Annette // January 14, 2010 at 4:17 pm |
I believe this is a male thing, as my husband is the same. He’s so bad at looking for things that I just don’t let him do it anymore!
Colette // January 14, 2010 at 4:47 pm |
Ha — that’s so funny. My husband can’t see dirt either — especially dirt and messes he created. But when it’s someone else’s mess… that’s a different story. And no matter where he puts things he can’t find them. This is a chronic condition that keeps getting worse.
Erin // January 14, 2010 at 4:48 pm |
Mrs Wayne – My husband does the EXACT SAME THING. He calls it the “archeology theory of organization”. I call it being a lazy slob.
Dirt is also invisible to my husband. Heck, the pan on the stove is also invisible when he’s doing dishes. Not in his immediate line of sight? Doesn’t exist.
Jenni // January 14, 2010 at 4:53 pm |
My husband loses and misplaces so many things that when he utters the words “I can’t find my (fill in the blank)” my blood boils. I get so mad, I can’t help him look for it!
Adina // January 14, 2010 at 5:25 pm |
My boyfriend can NEVER find anything, but when I go look for it in the exact same spot he was at I can find it. I call that the “man look” and it never surprises me anymore. Before I would get up and help him now I just asked did you really look or did you do the “man look” again?
Maggie // January 14, 2010 at 11:55 pm |
My husband suffers from the same problems you all have mentioned. It drives me nuts when he has “looked everywhere” and I look for 2 seconds and find whatever it was. But, the funniest story has to be about my father in law. One day he comes into the kitchen where a lot of the family has gathered and announces “If you find $100 it’s mine.” Everyone busts out laughing except his wife who about had a conniption.
Natalie // January 15, 2010 at 9:23 am |
Ditto on all the other posts. My DH has a similar annoying habit where he’ll ask “do we have a…” which really means “can you bring me the …” because it’s always something we HAVE, he just wants to have it right then. Like a steak knife or a towel or something. Infuriating!
Barb // January 15, 2010 at 3:12 pm |
I agree 100% with all of the posts. It must be a male thing. Both my 10 year old and my 22 year old sons are the same way! Can’t find anything . . . “where’s the mayo?”, “where’s my coat?”, “where’s the pledge?” etc., etc. It’s amazing.
Another annoying thing my husband does is that he cannot, for the life of him, throw out any receipts! I can’t stand that. I think he has ATM receipts for the last 15 years! One time, I cleaned off his bureau when I was cleaning the bedroom and he was complaining that I threw out a bunch of stuff (junk). That was the last time I cleaned his bureau. He was just complaining the other day, how messy it is and I said I’m not touching it. You want it cleaned, I’ll find you the pledge, and you can do it yourself!
Kristin // January 21, 2010 at 4:31 pm |
I believe this is a male thing, something on the Y chromosome, as BOTH my husband and my son have the same disorder.
We’re now training the dog to fetch said items by teaching him what those items are. Dogs are smart. Men are not.
HumorlessBastard // February 18, 2010 at 3:00 am |
Dogs are loyal and kind and loving.
carrie // March 12, 2010 at 9:17 pm
I guess men aren’t any of those things either?
Kimberley2 // January 26, 2010 at 1:45 am |
I myself admit I have too many things for a single person. That’s so when I get married I’ll have less to buy. I’m also good at hiding things for safe keeping. Years ago I did plane tickets 3 months b4 they were needed. My then current secret spots didn’t match what I originally chose and took me hours to retrieve. Plus you haven’t gone into detail about the kitty & doggies. What are their names, ages and personality. I’ve only seen pics of them in a blur or in the dark.
PS you go Kristin. Can your doggie get slippers? my cats can’t. only mice, bugs, socks and underwear.
Emily // January 27, 2010 at 12:56 pm |
My mil calls this “male pattern blindness.”