My husband snores. A lot. I know this a common complaint most women have and it’s not necessarily the snoring that bothers me the most. If it were just the snoring, I could elbow my husband and tell him to turn over so that he wouldn’t be sleeping on his back which seems to make the problem worse. No, that would be too easy. The main issue I have is that my husband refuses to believe that he snores. In fact, what usually happens when I (not-so-gently) elbow my husband to tell him to please shut his snoring trap, he startles awake and says, “But I wasn’t even sleeping! How could I have been snoring?!?”
Sure, there have been times that I’ve had a dream that seemed so real, I actually believed it happened. But there’s no mistaking that noise that comes out of my husband: it’s snoring. And it’s bad. And no matter how many times I wake up grumpy because of lack of sleep and explain to my husband why I didn’t get enough sleep, he always denies it. ”But I don’t snore!” Or the worst one: “Are you sure that wasn’t you snoring?” Do I really have to get one of those nannycams just to prove that he snores?
Yes, you do have to prove it to him. He’ll continue to pretend otherwise unless it’s crystal clear. It had to be proved to me!
Oh my gosh, you have described my life every night. My husband uses those exact words, “but I wasn’t even sleeping”. I actually wake up mad at him sometimes because I think secretly he does it on purpose
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LOL My husband denies he snores too. He also denies he moves while he sleeps. His theory is since he wakes up in the same position he went to sleep in, he obviously didn’t move during the night.
Ugh…my husband snores too, but he was nice enough to get me earplugs. He does, however, choose to wake me up every time my nose makes a whistling noise. It then takes me about 2-3 hours to fall back asleep, and he’s back asleep in 5-10 minutes.
I denied that I snored too, until my husband recorded me on his phone and played it back for me the next day. Stupid technology!
Yep. Mine does that too. Also, I’m neurotic about noise when I sleep. I use earplugs now. Haha.
My husband doesn’t snore all the time but he does on occasion. It’s not bothersome, but because he denied it all the time, I called his work phone (I didn’t want to wake him up by calling the cell next to his head) and left a message of him snoring to prove to him that he does. He still denies it…
Yup, you have to prove it. Last Christmas my husband got me a flip video cam. The first thing I did was record him snoring.
you can always just record him using your digital camera or even a tape recorder.
“Do I really have to get one of those nannycams just to prove that he snores?”
Yes. He still might just say that you were the one making the noise.
My husband was snoring so loud one night that I kept having to mute the TV one floor below our bedroom before I finally realized the strange noise was him. He always denied snoring, so I grabbed my cell phone, called his work phone and let it go to his voicemail, and then I said, “this is me speaking, so guess who this is snoring” and I walked up right next to the bed and just held the phone there for a few minutes.
He was not too amused when he got to work the next day and listened to his VM, but at least that stopped his denials!
My husband snores, as well. Not unusual, apparently, especially in light of all the above comment. But what really bugs me is that ever since I had my youngest baby (late in life) *I* now snore, too. Oh the shame!
i sleep so lightly its not funny. he uses the CPAP machine so he doesnt snore.
what he DOES do is reach out lovingly to touch me when he wakes up for whatever reason. waking me up. waking me up thinking there is a BUG on me, and now it takes me 3 hours or more to go back to sleep and i have no time to rest today.
You should get a tape recorder!! lol Then he can’t deny it! My husband snores too…We actually have a bedroom that I go into if he snores too much or I kick him out to sleep there if he’s snoring. it works wonders for our marraige. We both agree we will ALWAYS need this extra room! lol
I don’t know whether my husband snores because we have separate bedrooms. We tried sleeping together. Made it 1.5 nights. He’s an insomniac who wakes at the slightest sound or movement and can’t go back to sleep. I sleep like a rock, while flailing and kicking and stealing covers. Separate bedrooms can solve lots of sleep problems!
I use earplugs so I can get a good night’s sleep…but the best thing I did was record him with an app on my phone and then immediately set the phone next to his head and played it back so he was woken up by his own snoring. He promptly made an appointment to have a sleep test the next day and now has a CPAP machine. It’s the best white noise and I sleep through the night.
Get him one of those breathright strips. It’ll stop his snoring and make him look like a football player. Win-win.
My husband ALSO snores horribly bad. Bad enough that if I’m in the living room watching tv, and he’s in the bedroom sleeping I can hear him over the tv. He also tries to say he doesn’t snore. To which I always threaten to break out my cell phone and record him doing it. My favorite thing however is when I elbow him, push him, make a noise, whatever it takes, to get him to roll over, and he gets upset at me for waking him up! He doesn’t think that just because his snoring wakes ME up that he should be woken up for it!
Your post just reminded me of something that happened last Spring. My husband was studying for his board exams and usually when he spends a lot of time focusing on something he talks about it incessantly in his sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night one time to my husband getting ready to do chest compressions on me – in his sleep. Needless to say I leaped out of bed, he woke up, I explained what he had done and then left to sleep on the couch for the rest of the night.
Things ain’t much different here in Finland either. My husband snores too, and I’m a very light sleeper. Although he’s given me permission to nudge him to roll over when he snores, it’s not much use, as he can snore in any position: in his back, on either side, on his stomach… It’s getting ridiculous!
He’s also denied he snores – but only in his sleep! *lol* When he’s really tired, he sleep talks, and then usually denies snoring, even though when fully awake he admits to snore.
One time he sleep talked was a bit scary. He was then working as a security guard, and was apparently dreaming of catching a robber or something. He woke me up, stared at me with great anger and asked repeatedly (with a very intimidating voice): “Are you the one doing something here?? What are you doing here?!?” Really freaked me out ’cause he looked ready to manhandle me, the “robber”.
Now he’s in the military, so not much safer for me to sleep. Just one night he asked me “But what if they attack?!?” I so much wanted to respond something to freak him out more, to convince “they” were attacking, but didn’t have the heart…
I have been married for almost 3 months as well, although I lived with my husband for a 1 1/2 years before we got married so I seriously feel your pain. I have slept on the couch a handful of times because if he falls asleep before me, I am up for hours. I recorded him snoring on my phone one night and he got mad at me, and told me that I snore too!! So annoying!!
Ugh…I know exactly how this goes. I always elbow him right before he goes into the deep sleep and tell him to turn over because he always goes into that “pre-snore” that really deep breathing that you know is going to turn into an obnoxious loud snore. So i’ve been talking to his mom and making him go to the sleep lab to test for sleep apnea (yeah, so along with the snores, i get the choking…the wake me from deep sleep choking) and he precedes to tell her he doesn’t snore, he doesn’t choke or gasp violently…its all me. so i recorded it. then he recorded me singing in the shower…and it goes on and on.
yes. yes you do. you must get one, use it, and then let us know how it goes.
After 30 years of fighting about my husband’s snoring I finally made him go for a sleep study and of course he was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. That was 5 years ago and although he hates wearing his CPAP mask, it is bliss for me. I never realized how sleep deprived I was, until he got that machine. And now, what a pleasure! No more choking, gasping for air or those horrific wall vibrating non-human sounds that reverberated from him! An added bonus with the CPAP machine is that the cats seem to like the warm breathing tube that is attached to the mask. They purr and sleep next to it.
When I first started dating my boyfriend, one of my first questions was: Do you snore. He said no, and it’s true, he doesn’t. But ladies, don’t forget to ask him if his DOG snores! And I can’t elbow the dog in the middle of the night cuz she sleeps on the floor at the head of the bed. But i HAVE woken my boyfriend up in the middle of the night to wiggle the dog. And he hates that i’m grumpy in the morning and don’t want to have sex with him. By the way, I use earplugs and on the really bad nights, a pillow over my head as well!
Yea well I’ve been robbed of good sleep for about 6 yrs now. No matter what I say or do to explain how HIS snoring is killing me he wont fix it. Even though we have health insurance now he wont go and have it FIXED. Wonder if snoring is a good arrgument for divorce?
LOL! My husbnd too refuses to believe he is snoring when he “just closed his eyes”…What’s even funnier is that he can be sucking the paint off the walls for a good 30 min. as soon as I even so much as touch the remote, he wakes barking “don’t change the TV, I’m watching it” and then in the same breath, close his eyes and begin snoring just as loud as before! Men…
LOL Men, can’t live with ‘em and can’t shoot ‘em!
what can i do if my partner doesn’t care that he snores?
I told him that his snoring bothers me, but then he just told me, “If you have a problem, go somewhere else to sleep, sleep at the other room.”
I am sleeping in the other room now,
My partner and I are not close anymore. I wonder if any body else is in the same situation. Please leave me a comment if you are.
I understand how you feel. It is nice that you have an extra room. My husband has made it very clear that his snoring is my problem and he will never sleep on the couch. It is I who sleeps on the couch. I have never heard my husband say ” I am sorry that my snoring has woken you up.” He is still in denial that he snores and says I am a know it all and it is something else that always wakes me up. He is such a ignorant person
My husband completely denies he snores. I told him yesterday that he just doesn’t care because he does nothing about it, not even a ” i am sorry that i kept you up,” Because he doesn’t believe he snores. He got completely piss off when I told him that my coworker slept on the couch last night because he husband snored, he woke up, offered the bed to her because she had to work the next day. I said that my husband would never do that, he has told me that it is my problem and never has offered the bed. it is I who sleeps on the couch because he is in denial
My BF knows he snores, occasionally even admits it but refuses to believe its really bad. I have finally purchased a digital recorder and will catch the evidence. Maybe I’ll do something funny like play it a dinner with friends. Heeheehee…..
My husband falls asleep most evenings on the sofa in front of the TV and i spend the best part of my evenings shouting at him to wake up. He also chokes and coughs and i’m beginning to dread coming home each day as it’s almost guaranteed every evening. He doesn’t deny doing it but when he finally wakes and i try and explain how i feel he just tells me that I too nod off (for about 5/10 mins) and that i snore. He won’t go to bed because he says he’s not tired. I’m incredibly frustrated because until he does something about we’ll continue to argue and who knows what next.
lol I don’t snore or really move much in my sleep, but I do talk. A LOT. like everytime I hang out with my friends and I’m asleep (like sleepovers or I can’t sleep at my house cause my parentals r fighting or whatever), they try to have conversations with me lol. Sula (my friend) even recorded me saying random crap and I called her a ‘fucking pirate’ lol!!! but I never remember having dreams with stuff that I talk about in them…
As a man who snores occasionally, let me tell you what it feels like: You hit the bed. Spend a few minutes poring problems and challenges in your mind: what’s left to spend or save after this month’s mortgage, how much is the credit card mill going to be, what do I have to remembert to do at work first thing in the morning.
NOTE THIS CAREFULLY: The moment you fall asleep is the moment you LOSE TRACK OF TIME. A period of time elapses unknown to you, and then your muscles relax and you snore. But you are NOT conscious – you don’t hear yourself snore in your own sleep. So when you get struck or prodded for snoring, it feels like this:
- Don’t fall asleep, or she’ll kick you.
- See, you fell asleep again – so she slugged you with a pillow.
- When will you learn – Don’t ever fall asleep. She stuck something in your mouth.
- Must … not … sleep – she hates that.
- Why the hell is she being so sadistic? I was JUST BEGINNING to actually sleep deeply enough to dream…
- Etc.
So, ladies, take a moment to imagine what it’s like living insi=de the sleepy man’s skull.
Thank you! I felt like I was going crazy! My guy has been snoring pretty consistently for a few weeks now and he almost always denies it. Last night I just wanted to get a good night’s rest and I went to sleep in the guest room. In the morning he asked why I was in there? I told him because he had sawing logs and he said, “I wasn’t even sleeping.” Really??? I am so happy to here that there are other people out there that get this same response. I got really upset, because I felt like he was calling me a liar. Grrr! Well ladies I guess there is only one thing to do…RECORD RECORD RECORD.
my husband snores and ear plugs don’t help, nasal strips do some, but I always get “I was not sleeping so I couldn’t be snoring” which is a lie! he is nice and sleeps on the couch when I have to work the next day but will not see his doctor about the snoring. I am so frustrated and also tired!