Now Who's Posing with a Drink?
Ah, wife. Loving, trusting wife.
As a birthday present to me, my wife decided to turn over the blog to me for a day–essentially taking the bold step of climbing into her own dunking booth and handing me a limitless basket of balls to throw. Go ahead, honey, take your best shots.
I’ve got plenty of ideas. For months, as my every quirk and oddity has been outlined here, I’ve had a mental list in the back of my mind, just in case. You see, the truth of the thing is this: in your average Freak Show, there’s a little nutjob in everybody–sword swallower, fire eater, ticket taker, audience member. And my marriage is no exception. She may be best known as the long suffering wife of The World’s Most Annoying Husband (I’m still proud as all getout about that, by the way), but folks, she’s not immune to her own unique breed of Drive Me Up a Wall.
And today, on the anniversary of my birth, I’ve been given a chance to shout it all from the rooftops! To jump on center stage and let ‘er have it! So here goes:
My Wife is… Amazing.
Er. Whoops. Freudian slip?
Oh, wow. That didn’t come out right. You’d think I would’ve gotten that right after all this time. But here’s the thing. Over the last few days, she’s been kinda… you know, great. Now sure, maybe she’s just been on her best behavior with the birthday and blogswap on the table. But trust me, I know how to be a royal pain in the butt, and I went to extraordinary lengths to see how far I could drag this.
First, taking a page from my grandfather, I began my birthday celebrations last Friday. I announced it was my “Birthday Weekend Kickoff” and that as such, I should pretty much have a beer at any time. I made this comment at 10 a.m. Her response? “Go ahead and have a beer! It’s your Birthday Weekend.” Seriously? I poured a cup of coffee and scratched my head.
And it’s been like this for three days now. Last night, with the big day looming, I threw my efforts into high gear. What did I want to do for my birthday? I dug deep into the Guy Bag of Tricks, and pulled out a show-stopper: I’d like to go tour a Navy warship. This should’ve elicited a roll of the eyes and a groan. It didn’t. She immediately agreed.
Seriously?
Suddenly feeling at a total loss to identify even one simple annoying thing my wife does or has ever done, I went for the Hail Mary late last night. In our Brooklyn neighborhood, parking is a massive hassle, and involves constantly moving the car from spot to spot, and that process can take forever, driving the car up and down the same streets in endless loops, searching for an open spot. Late last night, I had to move the car. That’s always my job, and I put a sports podcast on the iPod and hit the road. So last night, I asked if she wanted to tag along on this delightful expedition.
No flinch, no hesitation. She says–ready for this?–”Can I go in my pajamas?”
I surrender. My wife is amazing.
I think you’re amazing! Of course, maybe that was your plan, write a nice entry about her and now everyone will love you and think she’s just being mean.
Yo! Nice Job! Love the sites, this one and yours! Keeps me fresh, laughing and loving everyday!
Take it easy,
Bob
P.S. I used to work with you at WFTS! Do you remember??
AWW! It’s my birthday too! Happy Birthday!
Awwwww, so sweet!!
Love the picture!!!!!!!!
Aww what a sweet post!! But you really do need to get rid of that damn sweater
Lots of people with Birthday’s today, me too
. That was really sweet. Hope you have a great day!
I knew my husband had a lot in common with the world’s most annoying husband, but now it makes more sense: they share a birthday! The chin whiskers around my sink, the empty carton of ice cream, the constant interruptions during my favorite tv shows…it must have something to do with this day!
Happy Birthday
So I’m thinking what a nice guy. . . I’ll see what he does for a living, so I pull up the standupkid productions website. YUP. Right there on the FRONT page. . . THE GREEN SWEATER!!! You GO Mark!!!
H0w nice! Happy Birthday!
I love this blog entry, it was a nice little twist to hear his side of the story. He is so sweet!
adorable post! the damn green sweater even made the picture!!!
Who wouldn’t want to tour a War Ship?? Great post. Happy Birthday:)
Love the pose with the drink…very funny about touring a Navy warship…Happy Birthday…your site keeps me laughing, esp. the sweater….keep it, it’s a trademark.
Beautiful!! Happy Birthday. And congratulations on what seems to be a wonderful marriage.
Sigh…. First of all happy birthday. It sounds like a nice weekend. To get a free pass to drink beer for three days is something we all strive for. Really. I’m jealous.
But, come on, dude. You can’t take a chance like this and throw softballs. By doing so you’re just being annoying… to men.
Nice twist to your turn in the spotlight! Way to a be a loving husband and know how to take a joke, even at your expense. I also give your wife props for being so selfless on your b-day. You guys are a obviously a perfect match! P.S Happy B-day!
Happy Belated Birthday!
Aww – that post was just too sweet.
That proves that even the most annoying men can be sweet sometimes.
I am now no longer cranky at my boyfriend. (for now!)
cool, I’m pretty annoying myself, and hearing the things that you do, in comparison to me, it just makes me smile. I’m glad I have a loving wife that has the patience to put up with me. but given the chance to bad mouth her, I don’t think I could find anything either, right on, way to not mess up…
UGH! Dare I say it…..YOU’RE SO SWEET and I WANT TO MARRY YOU!!! Ewe! that didnt feel right….ox
Excellent post…perfect even. You are a wonderful couple with a balance of humor and obvious love for each other. Much like my husband who has annoying habits (although I am sure I match him point for point), you can express your admiration and love in a post your wife will probably read 20 times in the next month. I save my husband’s more romantic voice mails and listen to them when I miss him during the day. Happy Birthday and many happy days together!
Awwww – I’m thinking the blog should be renamed to “My Husband is Amazing” – at least for your Birthday celebration week (? month?).
Happy, happy birthday!
Annnnnd the green sweater is in the pic!
Love it…happy birthday
You are a keeper that’s for sure. My husband would flip out if I dedicated a website to his odd behaviors and foibles. Personally I prefer to talk about all of my husband’s shortcomings and failings behind his back to my girlfriends. That way I can laugh at him and make fun of him without him knowing. After all he is sensitive and I pretend that he is perfect husband and he pretends that I am thin.