Sometimes my husband will offer to do things for me when I don’t particularly want to do them. That’s sweet, right? But, of course, there’s a catch. (Isn’t there usually?) He doesn’t really offer in the nice “oh, don’t worry about it honey; just sit on the couch and relax while I take out the garbage” kind of way. Instead, I’ll say that I’m going to take out the garbage and he’ll take it from me and say, “Sweetie, you’re not qualified to take out the garbage…I’ll do it.”
He uses “You’re not qualified!” whenever he’s “offering” to do something for me. If I’m going to go to the store to pick up milk, I’m not qualified. If I’m about to walk the dogs, I’m not qualified. If I start to make the bed, I’m not qualified. You get the idea. I know he’s just joking and he actually thinks it’s funny and yes, I know I should be glad that I have a husband who does things for me. And ok, I’ll admit it: I’ve started to look forward to “not being qualified” because then I can just be lazy and sit on the couch. But every once in a while it would be nice if he could do things for me without making it seem as if I need some sort of advanced degree in garbage disposal.
This guy probably does have an advanced degree in garbage.
16 responses so far ↓
Colette // October 26, 2009 at 1:03 pm |
I wish I were less qualified!
Jean // October 26, 2009 at 1:45 pm |
I wish my husband WAS qualified!
Jen @ After The Alter // October 26, 2009 at 3:33 pm |
at least your husband takes innitiative and just does things…mine will just sit on the couch and say “do you want me to do that?” and look all bored…to which normally I huff and say “no I”ll just do it” I wish he’d get a clue and just get up and do it!
Gail Hawkins // October 26, 2009 at 5:02 pm |
When I was married, I was apparently unqualified to grocery shop (I spent too much money). So he did it, every time. It was nice.
Sandy // October 27, 2009 at 7:55 am |
I heard this on the radio this morning and thought of your blog.
HERE ARE 15 SIGNS YOUR BOYFRIEND IS ANNOYING
Tuesday October 27th, 2009
Ladies . . . it’s pretty easy to tell if the guy you’re dating is a JERK. But there’s another group of guys who are almost as bad. No, they won’t hit you or call you names. They’ll just be needy, inconsiderate, and generally ANNOYING.
With that in mind, here are 15 signs your boyfriend is annoying, according to a website called TheFrisky.com:
#1.) He eats all your food and never replaces it
#2.) He’s always doing accents and imitations . . . like Austin Powers or Borat . . . but never well
#3.) He always needs to be the center of attention
#4.) He’d rather say something dumb than nothing at all
#5.) He breaks wind in public and thinks it’s HI-LARIOUS
#6.) He never cleans up after himself
#7.) He repeats the same tired joke over and over until you start laughing
#8.) He pokes fun of your insecurities or reveals your secrets when he thinks he can get a laugh out of it
#9.) He has a catchphrase
#10.) He chews with his mouth open
#11.) He interrupts you when you’re working, talking on the phone, or sleeping
#12.) Your friends have started avoiding him . . . and maybe even YOU too
#13.) He plays the “sensitive guy” card when he wants your attention
#14.) He answers the phone even when you’re in the middle of something important
#15.) He always has to have the last word . . . even when he’s clearly WRONG (CNN)
Rebecca // October 27, 2009 at 10:58 am |
At least he tells you in advance that you’re not qualified. Mine will sit on the couch watching endless hours of television until I’m in mid-task. Then he’ll show up and say, “You missed a spot” or “That’s not straight” or whatever. Ummm…excuse me? I’m NOT finished! Worse yet, he’ll wait until I’m done, and I catch him doing it over again because I didn’t do it the way he would have. I wish he’d either do it himself in the first place, or shut up and leave me alone.
And, I’d rather hear that I’m not qualified (which might in some cases be amusing) rather than, “Did I wait long enough to ask you if you need help?” which tells me that he is well aware that I needed help and he just didn’t want to do anything to help. Of course, I get my revenge by immediately asking him to do some really noxious task like cleaning the base boards or windows.
Yum Yum // October 27, 2009 at 11:42 am |
My husband just takes over when he thinks I can’t do something right. I never cook, because he will always take over.
mike@suckstobeyoublog.com // October 27, 2009 at 1:22 pm |
According to my wife I am unqualified to:
1) Do the laundry
2) Shop for groceries
And she doesn’t mean it in the nice way your husband does. She really thinks I’m incapable of either task, and refuses to let me do them.
Julia // October 27, 2009 at 1:31 pm |
That’s hilarious.
theycallmejane // October 27, 2009 at 4:11 pm |
Hmmm..you’ve given me an idea. I think I’ll try the “You’re not qualified” line on MY husband and maybe, through reverse psychology, his macho instincts will take over and he’ll actually move off the couch once in a while. I’ll let you know if it works!
miss kitten // October 27, 2009 at 9:24 pm |
i dont know whats worse. the “not qualified” line or knowing that i really CANT do some of the household stuff that needs doing, and that he has plans to hire a cleaning service. its hurtful at times.
HC // October 27, 2009 at 9:47 pm |
that is sooo funny! i’m going to start doing this to my boyfriend haha i think it’s hilarious
Carrie // October 27, 2009 at 11:53 pm |
From now on whenever you do a task he’s previously told you that you’re not qualified to do, you should tell him he has to do it because you’re not qualified. Maybe ad that you failed your last test.
missy // October 28, 2009 at 12:00 am |
i always get stuck driving because “i need the practice”
after being together for over 10 years it has gotten a little old.
Trish // November 2, 2009 at 9:15 am |
Why is it that almost everything on these lists my husband does too??!!! After this many years, you are right, it does get old. VERY old.
Amanda // December 2, 2009 at 10:42 pm |
Ha ha!! Sandy, I’ve got nos 1,2,5,6,7,9 and 11 at my house!