Monthly Archives: September 2009

“To Arthur!”

When my husband and I planned our trip to Dublin, we chose that week for a couple of reasons: (1) to commemorate our engagaversary and (2) because that’s when I could get off of work.  At least that’s why I think we chose that week.  When we got there, we learned that we would also happen to be there for ‘Arthur’s Day’.  I had no idea what Arthur’s Day was but apparently, I was the only person in all of Ireland that didn’t.  It was the celebration of the 250th anniversary of Guinness (started by Arthur Guinness, thus the ‘Arthur’ part of ‘Arthur’s Day’…apparently Arthur Guinness is pretty much a national hero in Ireland) and on that day at 17:59 (5:59pm for all us non-military time people), everybody raised a glass of Guinness and toasted with a jubilant, “To Arthur!”.  Or something like that.

So then I started to wonder…did my husband somehow know about this occasion and manage to actually plan our whole vacation around a “holiday” celebrating beer?  Now, I have no evidence of this and, in fact, he vehemently denies it but the timing just seems too coincidental.  What better excuse to have more pictures taken with a pint of beer?

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Naturally, my husband was like a kid in a candy store.  Or really, more like a guy in an Irish pub.  He started practicing his toast for days beforehand and would just bust out a “To Arthur!” at the most random times.  Checking out the Book of Kells, walking around Phoenix Park, admiring St. Patrick’s Cathedral, enjoying the Irish countryside…”To Arthur!”  We had to stop in about 4 pubs a day and so he could order a Guinness and practice his toast.  The weird thing is that before this trip, I had never seen him order or drink Guinness.  Not once.  And now one could almost think he’s the spokesperson for the company.

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Too Much Green

As my husband and I were getting ready for our trip to Dublin, I hatched a wonderful plan.  A brilliant plan.  A plan so smart I would’ve patted myself on the back if I had that kind of dexterity.  You see, I knew that it was going to be chilly in Dublin.  And I knew, from far too much prior experience, that if we combine chilly and vacation, the end result is a vacation photo album chock full of The Green Sweater.  This time, I was determined to outsmart that sweater.

So…my husband has been looking for a good light jacket for a while so I got myself on over to Banana Republic and found a nice one that he actually liked. But the best part?  It’s a green jacket!  Do you see where this is going?  There’s no way he could possibly wear the green jacket with The Green Sweater.  The new jacket effectively cancels out the sweater!

You wouldn't pair these two together unless you were color-blind, right?

You wouldn't pair these two together unless you were color-blind, right?

But I learned a very important lesson on our trip.  One that had simply not occurred to me.  My husband absolutely doesn’t care about whether his clothes clash or not.  He doesn’t give a single hoot about the fact that you can’t wear the same colors together unless they’re exactly the same shade.  He probably wouldn’t even care if he paired a striped shirt with a checkered jacket and a polka-dotted tie.  (Please, oh please, don’t ever let me catch that outfit on him!)

And so, my genius plan was foiled.  As you can probably guess by now, my husband wore The Green Sweater underneath The Green Jacket every single day we were in Dublin.  Every single day. I didn’t actually get too many pictures of this fine combo;  I laid off a bit on the photo-taking and the few that I did take he happened to have his jacket buttoned so the full glory of the two together is dimmed somewhat.  Darn.

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Photo Friday!

Happy Photo Friday everybody!

Here’s a picture of my husband at the Transit Museum.  This fake bus is meant for the kids to sit in and play on but my husband decides to hog the seat so he could pretend to be a bus driver. See that kid looking on?  That’s my nephew and he’s patiently waiting his turn to get in there.

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From Jen:

“I am constantly amazed by my husband’s daring self confidence  (and seemingly inability to be embarrassed).  He actually donned this outfit during a kid’s Halloween parade when he was teaching and marched up and down streets in New Haven leading his class of ‘fruit salad’…only a true man can proudly mascaraed as a watermelon, don’t you think?”

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From Jessica in Austin, TX:

“This one is mine…  He’s that big macho guy that is a total dork behind closed doors.  We were on vacation, and he came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his head.  He then began to wiggle his hips and do a “swami dance” (not sure where he got this).  However, each time he let go of his towel to do his dance, it would fall, so I waited patiently until he got his joke just right.  He finally got the towel to stay by holding onto it while he danced.  Sorry about the picture quality, but all I had was a cell phone.”

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From Karley:

“My wonderful husband pretends to be a zombie. Yes. I said zombie. He insists on making his zombie face and trying to eat my face. Seriously. I am still trying to figure out how I only have ONE picture of this, because it’s a daily occurance. Iwonder what our kids will think.”

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From Melinda:

“My husband loves buffets.  I hate buffets.  As we were leaving the buffet (which I hate) he spotted brownies on the table and ran back grabbing a few ‘for the road’.  Almost to the car I noticed…..’honey ya gotalittlesomethin’ right there’”

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From Carina in San Diego, CA:

“My fiance cannot take a single picture without making a face…here are several examples…”

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And finally, this comes to us from Elisheva, it’s not exactly a picture of her husband but it cracked me up anyway:

“My husband sent me this email from his iPhone while in the bathroom.

Subj:  No toilet paper!

Msg:  What do I do?”

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Thanks for all your great pictures; I’m getting so many, it’s getting hard to pick which ones to use! Think you can top these?  Prove it!  Send me your pictures to myhusbandisannoying@live.com.

Pardon the Interruption…

We’ll get back to our regular My Husband is Annoying programming tomorrow but please bear with me while I veer off the typical topic for a moment…

One year ago today, the man I love more than I ever thought possible, asked me to marry him.  He didn’t get down one knee (thank goodness) and he muffed the proposal a little bit because of nerves but that made it all the more special and endearing.

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Here's a picture of us right after we got engaged (gotta love the little blue box!)

And then I muffed the answer a little bit when I responded, “are you sure?” to his proposal.  But I’d like to think that I didn’t spoil the moment too much.

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It was a wonderful, romantic night and I count my blessings every day that this amazing man chose to spend his life with me.  So on this day, our engagaversary, I thought I’d let you all know that although my husband can be pretty darn annoying, he’s also the best thing to ever happen to me.  (But don’t get used to the gushing…I’ll be back to telling you all about more of his annoying qualities in the next post!)

Photo Courtesy of the Amazing Anna Kuperberg Photograpy

Photo Courtesy of the Amazing Anna Kuperberg

Whiskers (Not the Cat Kind)

Since my husband doesn’t have to go to an office every day, or even face the human world on a regular basis, he tends to only shave every once in a while. Unfortunately, when he does shave he also tends to leave his hair all over the bathroom sink.

NOT our sink.  Sorry to whoever posted this picture somewhere and I found it on google images

NOT our sink. I found this with a google image search. (But if this were your sink, would YOU post this picture for everybody to see? I wouldn't.)

This seriously grosses me out.  I go to brush my teeth and find shaved stubble everywhere.  Couldn’t my husband shave in the shower like a normal guy, thus letting the shower water naturally take his whiskers down the drain?  (Oh yeah, he often forgets to shower so I guess that’s not really an option…)

Also NOT our sink.  You don't think I'd really show you our nasty sink, do you?

Also NOT our sink. You don't think I'd really show you our nasty sink, do you?

I mean, how hard is it to just rinse the sink when he’s done shaving?  Or maybe I’ll request that he let his beard grow out so that he doesn’t have to shave anymore. Hey, it worked for Brad Pitt, right?

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The Pushover

When my husband moved in with me, we combined our families.  I had 1 dog (the super-awesome Sheba that gets all the blame for my husband’s smells and strange sounds) and he had 2 dogs and 1 cat.  Putting 3 dogs and a cat together in a small one-bedroom apartment was hard enough; the dogs had a tough time getting used to each other and were often fighting for our attention and for territory.  So we decided pretty early on that we weren’t going to allow the dogs to sleep on the bed with us.  This wasn’t so much a disciplinary decision as it was a practical one…how could we all possibly fit on a queen sized bed?

Unfortunately, this has been an uphill struggle.  I usually wake up a couple of times during the night to find at least one of the dogs has snuck onto the bed and I have to tell them to get down.  My husband, however, seems to have a bit of a problem with this.  He’ll pretend as if he doesn’t see them on the bed because he can’t  bear to make them move.

In the morning I typically get up first and when I walk into the bedroom a little bit later, this is what I usually find:

The pets know a pushover when they see one...

The pets know a pushover when they see one.

It’s Photo Friday!

And who doesn’t love Photo Friday?  (Well, probably not my husband or a lot of other husbands out there but I definitely do!)

Here’s a picture of my husband that he took himself.  He was in an empty courtroom and felt compelled to take a self-photo of him shouting “This entire court is out of order!”.  He says he was “gettin’ his Law & Order on”.  Whatever that means.

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From “LadyTwnks”

“This is my hubby, TheEngineer.  We went to the zoo this summer while my kids were here.  This is a drinking fountain at the zoo, near the kid’s section (where the petting zoo is).  So since he’ll do anything to make me laugh…”

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From Angel:

“My husband LOVES going to Disneyland with the kids.  One day after returning to our hotel room, he just couldn’t mask his enthusiasm for Mickey Mouse. This disturbing picture was the result.”

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From Megan:

“One night while we were watching TV my boyfriend decided instead of laying on our Restoration Hardware couch (that is the size of a twin bed mind you) he would rather pull the dog bed from the other room and cuddle with the dogs… Where are the dogs? They are laying on the couch with me!”

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From Kate:

“This is what happens when you happen to be taking pictures of your husband, and you utter the phrase ‘could you please smile so you don’t look like death warmed over in these photos?’”

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From Margaret:

“Although I love him to death, one thing that makes me absolutely crazy is his inability to have a normal face in photographs.  We were married two weeks ago on August 29th.  Sadly our photographer did not show up so all we have is the pictures that our guests took.  They are a compilation of winks, tongues out and winks with tongue out.”

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If you don’t see your photo here, don’t worry…it could be in a future Photo Friday.

And if you haven’t already sent me the ridiculous pictures of your significant other that you know you’ve got stored away, what are you waiting for?!?  Email them to me at myhusbandisannoying@live.com.

The Water Machine

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Look familiar? Apparently not to my husband.

As I’ve mentioned a few times before, my husband works from home.  This has its advantages: we don’t have to hire a dogwalker, he’s usually home to receive packages on the rare occasions when we actually get any, sometimes I can have him go to the bank for me and I never have to come home to him complaining about his co-workers or officemates (unless you count our menagerie of pets). However, there’s also a major downside to it.  He often “forgets” to shower.  In fact, just the other day he seemed to have forgotten even the word shower and he called it “the water machine”.  This is when I knew we were headed down an ugly road.  So tonight, we made a deal. He’s going to shower every day and I’m not going to crinkle my nose in disgust when I go near him.  Let’s hope he holds up his end of the bargain.

“Say Cheese! Wait, Just One More…”

My husband and I are going on vacation to Dublin next week.  We’re really looking forward to it; it’s supposed to be a beautiful city with a lot of really cool places to see.  And we haven’t been on vacation since our wedding almost 6 months ago.  The one thing I’m not looking forward to, however, are the seemingly eternal amount of pictures my husband will take.  I’m not talking about pictures of rolling hills, beautiful architecture or breathtaking countryside.  I’m talking about the hold-his-arm-out-while-he-tries-to-make-us-look-like-a-cute-couple pictures.

You know the kind I’m referring to, right?  The kind that all couples will try to take at least once during a vacation.  You don’t want to bother people around you, or look like too much of a tourist, by asking them to take a picture of the two of you in front of that famous fountain so instead you attempt it yourself.  That’s not such a big deal.  But my husband?  My husband will take hundreds of those pictures.  And so we’ll smile for the camera while he positions his arm in front of our faces in just the right place.  Except his arm is rarely in just the right place and so he’ll want to try it again.  And again.  And yet again.  By about the seventh attempt, I’ve lost patience but he still feels that he can get it right.  Now imagine going through this at every single historic, famous or scenic tourist spot you hit in a week.  Oh, boy.

Here’s a gallery of some my husband’s “self-portraits”.  Keep in mind that these are the best ones…the ones that he was finally satisfied with after taking up to a dozen rejected ones.

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T.G.I. Photo Friday!

Happy Friday everyone!

Let’s begin with this picture of my husband eating fire at Coney Island; he did this for an assignment for work and he was so proud of himself after, he couldn’t stop talking about it.  I, of course, didn’t love the gasoline breath he had for days following this.

Also note The Green Sweater!

Also note The Green Sweater!

I got some great pictures from you guys over the last week!

From Stacey (a newlywed…she’s only been married for a month!):

“This is my husband last Christmas right after he got his shoulder-length hair cut for Locks of Love. Apparently he was worshiping the ‘Hair God’…”

GetAttachment.aspxStacey, it may be a goofy picture but at least it’s a good haircut!

From “laughingallegra” (Not her real name obviously but she didn’t include her name with the picture):

“There are two things about my husband and photos that irk me.  First is that most of the time if it’s a group shot he will use his fingers to make someone have ‘horns,’ just like a junior high school kid, and secondly he thinks it will be funny if he sticks out his tongue!  It isn’t only the young husbands that do these things.  This kind of behavior doesn’t have any age boundaries.”

jerry%20tongueSo, I have years of this kind of behavior to look forward to with my husband? Great…

From Ashley:

“My fiance is a die-hard Chicago White Sox fan.  Even though they’re in different divisions, he absolutely hates the Chicago Cubs, their fans…everything about them.  So, he has this shirt that says ‘Wrigley Field: Home of the World’s largest gay bar!’  He doesn’t wear it often, so when he decided to wear it for a night of drinking…much to his dismay, it, (direct quote from him), ‘must have shrunk or something’.  Stand back ladies, he’s mine.”

GetAttachment-2.aspxWow, Ashley.  Not only is that quite a shirt he’s got on but the face he’s making is pretty hot too.  He’s aaaalllll yours!

From Darcy:

“I love my fiance Aaron to death, and your blog reminds me of him all the time… he vacillates between the most annoying man I’ve ever met, and the most hilarious man I’ve ever met (usually I find him fairly amusing!).  He is obsessed with this cat toy, the cat cube. He likes to place it on his head, and often tries to place it on MY head (I frown on that) However he was very proud of this picture.”

GetAttachment-3.aspxAnd another from Darcy, which I had to include because who doesn’t love a picture of their man cuddling a 40 of Budweiser as if it were his one true love?

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And finally, From Hannah in the U.K.:

“So I was reading your blog again today, looking at the pictures of other wives and girlfriends annoying husbands and boyfriends and recalled a ‘wonderful’ outfit that my boyfriend had me help put together. He’s a physics student at the University of Cambridge, and so he eats, breathes, talks and now even wears physics. What’s funny is, I actually think he thinks he’s a robot sometimes. The first picture has been his facebook profile picture for almost a year…”

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Hannah, I think your boyfriend and my husband should go on a man-date and do the Robot together!

♦Thanks for all your great pictures and keep ‘em coming!  Send me any goofy, funny or just plain ridiculous pictures of your significant other to me at myhusbandisannoying@live.com.  (And what about all you men out there?  Send me pics of your wives or girlfriends [even women pose for bad photos too...I should know, there's quite a few of me that I wouldn't want out there!]; if I get enough, I can do a special women’s edition of Photo Friday!