This was an actual conversation I had with my husband recently…
Me: What’s wrong?
Husband: [moan] I ate too much ice cream and now I feel sick.
Me: How much ice cream did you eat?
Husband: The whole carton. [moan]
See, my husband doesn’t understand moderation. I’ll often come home from work and go to the cabinet to have a couple of chips only to find that he’s eaten the whole bag during the day. I never have any idea what may be left for me in the refrigerator but the answer is usually…nothing. He just doesn’t know when to stop. When he eats ice cream, I’ve discovered that I literally have to take the carton and spoon out of his hands or else he’ll finish it and then moan about having a stomachache. The other night, he ate a gigantic piece of cheesecake and then followed that up with half a bag of chips and couldn’t understand why he felt like he was going to throw up. The really annoying part about this is that my husband is super-thin. I mean the kind of thin where he could probably stand to eat a few cartons of ice cream a day to gain some weight. Meanwhile, if I have even a few spoonfuls of ice cream I see it in my thighs the next day. Where’s the justice?