Last year, right after we got engaged, my husband and I took a trip to Berlin. This was our first vacation together and so I had no idea if we would get along while being together basically 24/7. The good news was that we managed to make it through the trip still engaged. The bad news was that I discovered that my husband has the sense of humor of a 5-year-old.
In German, the word for enter (or entry) is einfahrt and exit is ausfahrt. As you can imagine, there are signs with those two words everywhere: parking garages, stores, parks, theaters, etc. When we saw one of the signs on the first day, my husband let loose with a very Beavis-and-Butthead-like “heh heh heh” and insisted I take his picture. Yes, he actually wanted me to take his picture while he pointed at the fart words.
"Fart" jokes will get him every time. (And hey, there's that green sweater again!)
Being on a newly engaged high (yeah, that wore off pretty quickly), I humored him and thought that would be the end of it. Well, over the next week, we saw those two words hundreds of times and he actually laughed and pointed at them every single time. I know I’m not alone in having a husband with incredibly sophomoric humor (right, ladies? please tell me I’m right…) but this is ridiculous.
I am hardly the only man to find the signs in Germany irresistibly amusing.
Wife, while you may think I am the first man in history to have posed for the photo above, I am clearly not–and I encourage men to come forward with their versions of this pic–I can, right now, prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that other men have ventured to Germany and driven their wives nuts in the exact same way.
Herein and heretofore, I offer Exhibit A in my defense: and I REST MY CASE.
Husband
Oh Annoying Husband, the fact that you posted this video (and laughed hysterically while doing so, I have to mention) only goes to further prove the point of the blog post!
Not for nothing, but this was almost surely created by a man:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/39295902@N07/3807873893/
I just got back from Germany on vacation! I have 4 photo albums on facebook. Here are the links:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=99569&id=680804149&l=2bccfe2e05
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=99572&id=680804149&l=f0f4375271
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=99574&id=680804149&l=8434c73a6a
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=99579&id=680804149&l=9fadd61041
We’ve never been to Germany, but I can attest to my husband’s 7th grade humor. I do love him dearly, but sometimes ….
Anyhow, I was hoping you would write some posts about your husband from before you got married. When I think about my life with my husband, some of the most hilarious “material” to be mined is during our “courtship.” So funny!
My husband can stare deadpan at the TV for hours, but one fart joke and he cracks up – guaranteed!
By the way, is he holding up his fingers in hopes that you might pull them? – be careful…another favorite trick!
This is hilarious! Is it really sad that this made me want to visit Germany so I can take my own fahrt pictures?
Tired after a flight to London, we were taking the Tube in from the airport, toward Cockfosters.
Cockfosters – it had my 16 year old step son and me giggling the whole trip.
I’m just saying.
fahrt jokes go over very well in my house as well…. my husband.. buff and gorgeous and all that will giggle incessantly and say ” i have a delicate stomach”. bwhahahahaah!
Plus in my job… fharting (making the noise that is) makes all my little 3-7 year old clients crack up laughing… making my day a whole lot easier!
:O)
i know about the annoying sweater… my hubby’s looks like your hubby’s, except it’s a puke beige color and it has lintballs on it. It totally irritates me – so i took the step and bought him some new pieces to wear. Beige makes him look so green and washed out anyway. Yes, I’ve told him it makes him look half-dead when he wears it.
We visited Germany a few years ago and my husband also found the signs hilarious. He’s had 67 years to grow out of the kindergarten humor and has failed miserably. Abandon all hope.
I am American but my husband and I live in England. On a visit we went to BJ’s restaurant and he could not get over the name.
Kept saying, ‘BJ! I can’t believe they call it that!’
Ladies,
It’s wonderful that you women have found a common annoyance to bond over… But let’s not forget how much of an itch your gender can be. For starters, not every relationship contains a male figure that has the humor of a 5 yr old. Secondly, would it kill you to be a little more humorous about everything? Regardless of whether or not the humor is childish, you were probably in an itchy mood to begin with, which inevitably rained on his parade.
Here is one thing of which all men must deal with: women will always find some way to degrade men. I’ve been engaged now for 7 months (date 4 years previously) and we’ve experienced each other’s humor and living habits. But, we still appreciate and respect each other. We don’t flaunt each other’s faults or annoyances over the internet. We especially don’t look for other people to agree with, which would help ourselves feel better.
Yea, there are times where we argue because I restate things she says, or she has to correct me on every detail, even when the information is apparently obvious but unmentioned.
My point is the female of this relationship just made herself look like an itch among all male readers of this blog. Kudos to you! We guys are wondering if the sex is good enough to stay with her.
Ureal L. T. Benat
Response to Ureal L. T. Benat who says, “Women will always find some way to degrade men.” Wait. Do I have to say it?? You hand us so much ammunition!
Elaine,
We may hand you so much ammunition, but a significant difference between Men and Women: Men hardly choose to use the ammunition. Women can be incredibly brutal and rude. Men can be childish, but at least we aren’t sexist femenists who praise every Male fault.
I’d rather be humorous than have a dull sense of humor, which is accompanied with a serious and collective composure which women are taught to portray.
Men could grow up, but life is too short to be continously up-tight.
Ureal L. T. Benat
OK personally I would rather take the Fart jokes then my significant others need to show me “See Food”. Gah.
The good thing is he did it the other day to tease the dogs and they jumped up to take it out of his mouth. It made him stop and finally think maybe that isn’t such a good idea.
be sure to visit Balltown, IA
I just found you blog via aol…i haven’t laughed this hard, well, since my daughter stuck her hand in her diaper and pulled out poop. Oh, wait, that wasn’t laughter….
….but, my two year old daughter’s favorite question (over and over, and OVER again, btw) is:
“Did you fwart?”
Spoken loudly enough for all to hear in her cute little voice. She is two, however, so i guess everything at that age is cute. Except for pulling poop out of your diaper. That’s not so cute…but there’s hope that she will outgrow those kind of so-so-funny cute stuff.
I so wish i could get a photo of her in front of those German signs to torture her with when she is a teenager.
being a man, i can attest to the fact that most of us have a sense of humor of a 5 year old
my husband is just as bad evertime he farts he YELLS “theres the bull frogs again” to the point that hes got my kids thinking farting is a big deal he also everytime someone farts he starts laughing its realy embarrassing cause he does this when we go out to eat he also loves to say
see you just burned anouther one of my biskets
I’m an 8 year old boy stuck in a 45 year old woman’s body. I laugh hysterically at all bathroom jokes, especially the fart jokes. Some women are just way too uptight.
So, this is from March ’09, apparently Reese Witherspoon has a little 5 year old boy’s sense of humor too…. http://www.nbc.com/The_Tonight_Show_with_Jay_Leno/video/clips/reese-witherspoon-31809/1066641/
Yeah- 27 years of marriage and 4 kids(3 boys 1 girl) later and farts are still hysterical to my sweetie. I only have to say the word and he will laugh or snicker. Of course the boys also think it is funny. Quite the ice breaker. FART hahahahah
Question for you ladies…….if your husbands are soooooooooo annoying why did you marry them in the 1st place…..What is it about women…..they find a guy they like that has some endearing qualities to him and then the mind begins to work overtime……how can I mold him into something else? If you wanted something else to begin with why didnt you look for something else? Totally mind boggling.
this guy is the funniest guy in the world. Man If i were living in america I would hang out with him cool fartttt!
My husband and I lived in Germany for 3 years and I’m afraid I never got used to seeing the ausfahrt signs…I laughed everytime saying, “Ass fart!” Sorry…couldn’t help myself.
I find the signs for the town of F..king in Austria (?) much funnier…. As a foreigner I think is hillarious to call a cat and female body parts the same… Everytime someone calls their cat I chuggle….
We just moved to Germany and my husband LOVES the signs…well that and the castle had a statue with (wait for it) nipples. He just about fell over and died….the giggle went on for the rest of the tour….
I understand the fart jokes. I have been known to shoot wine out of my nose laughing at one, BUT…..My “Knight in Shining Armor” actually farts into the phone at his best friend.
I walk past and hear him say “Just a second…”, and then puts the phone to his butt and lets one go! He then laughs so hard, his face turns beat red (not from embarrassment), that I think he’ll pass out. Thank you for your website…Misery does love company!
my husband found an application to download to his i-phone called “FARTS”, so now he listens to simulated far noises , setting it to play while he is walking through a crowd and giggling all day….so glad he can amuse himself & doesn’t need me to entertain him
Ah! I don’t know whether I enjoyed more the comments or the post… but I giggled so much I have tears all over my face.
Yep, I’m a man (45, and father of three) and can’t understand why, but even thinking in farts and/or fart jokes starts me giggling. The interesting thing is that other funny things can’t make me laugh or giggle so easily.
5 year’s sense of humor… mmmhhh… I don’t think so… but I can make a deal for 7
I grew up in a household where farting in public was NOT ok, especially at the dinner table. My mother would excuse us to the bathroom if we had to fart, and naturally I also find it less-than-polite to fart in public. About 8 months in to our marriage, my brothers-in-law and DH’s bf came over for dinner. Someone proceeded to fart and I got upset and explained that although I get that it’s neurotic, it bothers me when people fart, especially at the dinner table, so please could they step outside (table is RIGHT by the door) to do so. Next night, DH’s bf comes over again and we’re all sitting in the living room talking when bf excuses himself to the deck. I was so excited and thanked him through the open window thinking “there’s a polite, considerate guy.” THEN he stepped onto the cooler below the window, bent over and farted STRAIGHT INTO THE FAN in the open window. He and DH then giggled like 10 year old girls with crushes for a good, solid 10 minutes. I had to leave the room, afraid I’d loose all credibility if they knew I was laughing so hard tears were rolling. This is now my favorite story about DH’s bf, and I can’t WAIT til he meets his own happily-ever-after…. I understand your blog, and LOVE IT!
heh heh heh