“I don’t think I’m going to make it”

Every time  my husband sneezes, he follows that up with saying “I don’t think I’m going to make it”.  (Sometimes he varies it with, “I’m ok.  I’m ok.”  Is he trying to assure me or himself?  Because I was definitely never worried.)  He seems to think that a sneeze is a certain sign of a fatal illness or something.  Just to give you an idea of how annoying this can get, he’s allergic to dust and we have a really dusty apartment so this whole sneezing routine can happen multiple times a day. Fun, huh?

"I'm a big baby when I'm sick!"

"I'm a big baby when I'm sick!"

27 responses to ““I don’t think I’m going to make it”

  1. Where’s the green sweater?!!

  2. Thanks for the laughs. I love that he thinks he is going to die if he sneezes. This is just so funny. I feel your pain. My husband doesn’t seem nearly so annoying any more. I have tears streaming down my face from laughing. Thank you.

  3. My wife thinks vap-o-rub is the cure to all evil. And everytime she has a headache she says: My head hurts, there must be tumor in there somewhere. Then she proceeds to rub vap-o-rub on her temples. It`s adorably funny. Except for the smell of vap-o-rub, which is annoying.

    The funny thing, she always exagerates when she is not feeling well. She’s always dying, or about to die. But when we had our first child, I thought the woman was going to run out of the hospital hysterical with the labour pains. Funny thing is, she gave birth with such calm and ease. By our fourth child, she was giving birth with a smile.

    She gets a splinter, or paper-cut…all hell breaks loose. Love her for it.

  4. haha this is great! when my boyfriend sneezes (and hes a chronic sneezer), he makes this pathetic face and makes this whiny whimpering noise after. it was cute at first, but now i wish he’d stop. it’s embarrassing.

  5. Just so you know, my husband sneezes 8-11 times in a row, many times a day. And what he likes to do is try to continue talking in between each sneeze. It’s the most annoying thing a sneezer can do. And no matter how many times I say “just wait until you’re done because I don’t know what you’re saying,” he will do it anyway.

    ps this website is HILARIOUS

  6. Yes, my boyfriend is ridiculous too when he’s sick. He eats too much then says, “oh, my belly!” and whines and complains when he’s getting sick and always wants me to come take care of him. He’s such an exaggerator. He can’t have a simple bruise or a cold, he thinks it’s a stress fracture or the swine flu. What he does when he sneezes in the middle of the night is try to hold it in, so I wake up to violent shaking and try to ask him if he’s having a seizure.

  7. This is funny. When my husband sneezes he also makes a face like he is going to die. When he gets a headache he holds his head and whines that his head hurts soooo bad. Then he pops two aspirins and it’s gone. I have no pity for him because I get migraines. Whenever I see this face I just want to throw something at him.

  8. One of the most annoying things my hubby does is to sneeze. It’s scary cause it’s very violent! People turn around from across the room cause they think something dangerous is happening! He says he can’t help it, but really now…..!!!

  9. Anytime our children are sick or I am sick my husband will start with “I think I’m getting sick!” and of course it is always worse than anyone elses. I would like, just one time, when I am sick to be the only one. There is nothing worse than having the flu and for him to think he’s sicker than anyone. I know that the women know what I’m talking about. If you have ever been around a man that thinks he’s sick–there is so much whining!

  10. This is exactly like my boyfriend…he thinks he’s going to die when ever he has a headache or the common cold… If he’s sick he thinks he has some unknown virus strain that is incurable. And of course I have to take care of him. One time he even said that if I made him brownies with “I love you” written on them in red and blue icing (yes it HAD to be those colors) that he would feel better, and of course I did so he would shut up lol, but do you think he takes care of me like that when I’m sick?… heck no!

  11. My husband is a big baby when he is sick too. But if I’m sick he has no compassion for me. For instance….1)when I was in active labor with our first son I was a little loud during a contraction….he shushed me…he almost died that day….2)I had all four of my impacted wisdom teeth surgically removed….he went to a friends wedding and left me home alone on high doses of medication….3)We were on vacation at KY lake and the winch for the boat smacked me in the nose (yup broken nose and lovely laceration) my dad took me to the ER while he stayed on the boat and drank.

    So after I was pregnant with our 3rd son and he had a vasectomy and thought he was dying……yeah, good luck finding sympathy pal!

  12. This is from my personal Men Are Always Sicker Than Women file. If I have a hangnail, my fiance thinks his finger might be broken. If I have a headache, my fiance has a migraine. If I have a cold, my fiance has Swine Flu and is probably dying. Either way, I have to take care of him because he’s sicker. Anyone else note this craziness in your relationship?

    • april campbell

      Always smh I just tell him to get off his lazy ass cause I’m not his mommy and hes supposed to be a big boy so suck it up. I have to.

  13. Yep – another Big Baby Husband here…. mine knows when he’s getting better though- he’ll blow his nose (after being sick for a few days) and if the tissue contents are green he says – EVERY time , “Oh yeah, I’m getting better”. I don’t know why green boogers signal to him that he’s getting “better” but that’s what he thinks. This has been going on for 17 years.

  14. I can totally sympathize with this one! My husband thinks he’s going to die every time something like that happens. Most of the time for him it’s heart burn though and he insists he’s having a heart attack.

  15. My fiance just had his teeth cleaned and showed up to our shop after his appointment as if he’d just had heart surgery. Pouting, barely talking. He was using signs to talk to me. No lie. I’ve had a root canal before and walked out of the dentists office straight to work! No complaints. But him? Nope. It’s been 3 days since his teeth cleaning and he’s still whining about how much it hurts??? What????

  16. My fiance always gets these chronic bouts of what he calls ‘Man Flu’, which is really just a bit of a sniffle, or maybe a headache, but he drags it out for days and days. And he knows how annoying he is, because he’ll call me from the bedroom to tell me that he’s ‘sore and whingey and wants a hug’ every few minutes because he ‘could die any moment from this flu’….
    Would be cuter if it didn’t happen at least once a month.

  17. Wow, thats nothing…my husband is sick every single day. He works a hard labour jobs plus works out at the gym everyday so he is in constant pain, and guess who massages him every single night?! yes ME!, the 7 month pregnant woman who he never bothers to massage or bother to ask how im feeling. Im getting very frustrated with his lack of caring behaviour, he cares sooo much about himself and how much pain he is in that he doesnt even worry about me or if i feel sick, and i got bad pains a week ago on my stomach, and he just didnt seem to care or make it into a big deal while my mom insisted she take me to the hospital, he was busy thinking of other things like work, and how tired he was..fine so i know he works hard and supports us which is why i massage him every night cuz he does deserve it but why cant he be considerate and caring…anyway, this is a bigger problem then just his complaints, hes a person u cant even have a conversation with cuz hes busy talking about what he knows about the topic , never once does he stop to ask oh reallY? that happened to you? and what did you do about it? …NEVER. I think he might have ADD, but anyway im pretty unhappy, and i try to stay calm for the wellbeing of the baby and for my own sanity, but im miserable so much of the time wishing i could be happier with someone who could at least go out for diner with me one night and have a good conversation…but he cant even do that cuz if we do go out, hes thinking about other things or yawning and waiting for the time we will leave… :( . is it too much to ask for the most basic things like conversation? man, some days i begin to realize i will not be with him for long, but we have a baby on the way…..i dunnoo…any ladies have any opinions on this? im pretty depressed.

  18. Mami, You need to have a serious talk with that man of yours. This is just one opinion, but chances are your man is behaving as he saw his father behave with his mother and that’s the only way he knows how to be.
    Some men, yours included, do not know what to do if you don’t tell him what you want. One thing is certain: even though we women want them to be, men are NOT mind readers!

    Here are a few suggestions:
    Gently, sweetly ask for 10 minutes where you can talk to him about improving your “alone” time to “make your relationship better than it already is.” (wink) Saying something sweet like that will avoid putting him on the defensive.

    Once you get those 10 minutes (TV off, no distractions) start by telling him how much you appreciate his hard work. Then tell him that you need his attention a little more. One way to improve conversations when people lack this skill is for him to listen to you for three minutes, then he has three minutes to respond. Then you listen to him for three minutes and you have three minutes to respond.
    This teaches people how to listen without interruption. One rule is to NOT JUDGE the other person. These are your feelings, your thoughts, your wishes, your hopes.
    Remember the old rule: Don’t say “you” a lot. You do this. You don’t do that. Speak with “I” sentences. I wish we could do more together when neither of us is tired.

    As for your husband doing all the taking and no giving, it sounds like you need to teach that to him, too. Since he’s not learned this by your example, this is a tough one. Have you asked for what you want? Some women just wish and wish and never TELL their partner what they want. This leads to a lot of resentment, but some men honestly need to be told that you want a massage… need this, need that. What happens when you ask for things?

    If your husband is completely not open to fixing things, you need the help of a professional. My best to you and your baby!

  19. ok ladies. I grew up in a home where nobody was ever sick! and the few instances we are…its not a big deal. Well, first of all…my boyfriend is the biggest baby in the world. And his mom babies the crap out of him! we are just polar opposites and is sucks soooooo bad sometimes. he just got his wisdom teeth out and im pretty sure i want him to get over this more than he does. i cant stand it anymore. he milks every minute….and i dont want to look like a bitch to him and his family but oh my god…i cant hide what i am feeling anymore. i know he is really in pain but come on…i hate men sometimes…

  20. Is this some kind of underground lesbo website?

  21. My hubby does the most infuriating thing ever! Whenever it’s ‘my time of month’ he’s really good at getting anything I need from the shops but apart from that he’s just a pain in the ass! It would be really funny if he wasnt such a whiner about it, but be insists that men have certain times of the month when they’re hormones are all over the place too. He calls it his ‘man period’. It made me laugh so much until he starting saying we were in sync. Now whenever I have mine he says he’s got his so that even if I have bad cramps he thinks he can be as snappy and short tempered as he likes,throwing his toys out the pram. I also almost always end up looking after his ‘needs’ instead and I’m sick of it!

  22. april campbell

    There is no end to my husband being annoying I just wish it was only when he sneezed. I have wondered if he has to much estrogen in his system with a never ending case of PMS. He always has something to say about everything and thinks hes the only person in the world that knows what he’s talking about and everyone should just i shut up and listen. Hell I just wish HE’D shut up. Talking about hell freezing over I’m still waiting.

  23. My husband believes he’s dying of heart disease.he even had all the tests and hes got mild heart disease but he’s not dying.he does nothing because he hurts all day.. I’m tired and hurt too . What can You do?

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